my "oh-s0-exciting" thursday...
i spent the whole afternoon staring at the comp...took 2 naps...ate tons of spaghetti..and then i took out all my unwanted clothes to donate them to the flood victims!now...the exciting part of the whole day was...clearing out my old clothes! my sisters were going crazy trying on all the old and oh-biang clothings that we had,hidden somewhere in our cupboards...and we were laughing like mad...all those hideous prints and weirdly shaped clothes...and the ultimate was the pair of baggy jeans! i couldn't stop laughing when i tried them on! the pants were big enough to stuff at least 5 chickens in them!HAHA! and they are really hideous looking...and i once thought they were cool...sigh...what was wrong with me...heh...anyway after tons of laughter..i made up my mind to keep them...because..they are the ultimate classics...worth keeping..just for the sake of laughter of course! :p

4e dinner last night was good..thanx mich for organising it!:) though we all didn't hang ard together for long...but it was great meeting up and seeing how much everyone has changed!

had quite a fun time at zouk last night!managed to squeeze into phuture with viv, yj, shak, jin and jin's million friends..spent most of the night in phuture...finally after such a long time...zouk should really consider expanding that place! we had a great time dancing until this malay guy with a super poky woolen vest came along with his superb dancing skills and kept banging into us..and we all got kinda pissed after tt...then there was his friend and her splendid dreadlocks that almost poked me to death...man...it sure was an itchy and poky night for me!and i have a pretty cig burn on my hand...courtesy of my good friend jin...but itz ok..she's agreed to pay for my plastic surgery if there's a scar...right???haha...i can't erase the image of jean dancing in zouk..she's really hilarious!all in all...last night was good! :)

time for some photos again!

exactly how i feel about my life right now...LOST!

the new monster in town...the flower monster!

i'm finally 20! haha...well i waited for like how long...not like i am extremely excited tt i've finally hit the big TWO ZERO...but well...i've finally joined all my friends in the TWO ranks already! celebrated it pretty simply...but had a great time...and may i please add...i have a big tummy! what's new? met up with kunies, jin, yj for lunch at kenny rogers and dessert at max brenners...totally couldn't move after tt! thanx a lot for the present ya all! like it a lot! and the bday card's pasted on my pgp room wall now! hehe!

had dinner with my family in china sq after tt...we had some chinese cuisine buffet...yes it caused my tummy to grow even bigger..haha..the food was ok....but the shark fin was crap...there wasn't any shark fin in the "superior double boiled shark fin soup"! cheats!

met up with my "W.E.I.O.O.W" friend(i bet u dunno wad it means cootie..haha!) after tt...we did wad we always do...walk from cinema to cinema looking for some movie to watch..but we ended up in IndoChine..where we finished a whole bottle of white wine...and we went crazy taking photos! haha...hey man...thanx for the crazy time we had in town..and...WE'RE A TEAM!haha!

last night was the first time i spent christmas eve in town! the ppl were going crazy spraying tt canned fake snow stuff on each other and on other ppl's car...and some stupid idiot attacked me! bah! the streets were packed like mad...and was absolutely dirty!i can't imagine wad it'd be like on new yr's eve!



max brenner...yum yum yum!!

the first nice foto that we've ever taken!


look! how artistic!

*so sad...i had to remove my fav foto coz of some particular reasons :(

hohoho...i am back...i am back!Hong Kong was as nice as ever...endless shopping and eating...we ate so much till we compared with each other to see who had a bigger tummy! haha...horrendous us! well this time round i didn't buy any branded stuff...all cheap cheap cheap stuff! we found a million things to buy at the splendid Jardine Street Bazaar...all the cheap belts, cardigans, pullovers...shoes...woooahhh! overwhelming!and....i finally bought my shades...from Loi Yan Gai...i kept calling it Loh Poh Gai and Loh Yan Gai when i was there..my sis almost died of laughter from my stupidity! heh!

anyway..this trip was the best of all the times we went to HK, coz the three of us ventured off on our own..and got lost in the streets of Causeway Bay...there was SO MANY shopping centres....streets and bazaars to check out...and we really got lost in Island Beverly shopping centre...it's like far east...but much more maze like!

oh yes...the most impt point...HK guys are DAMN GOOD LOOKING! we were having a super good time checking them out!hahahah....hum sup us!anyway... they are all TALL! the one factor that most singaporean guys lack...and they all dress damn well...although a bit absurd...and they have such splendid hair and features...omg...i'm convinced...my husband's definitely gonna come from HK! haha!! and...i saw alex to in the HK airport...those dimples.....*melt*

my fav hk food...beef noodles..and breakfast set A..haha

the ruins of st. paul in macau

and of course...the stupid pic of this trip!

ah! we received a splendid christmas hamper from my uncle this morning! a huge piece of ham...log cake, and tt raisin bread thing..and of course wine...yumz...can't wait to eat them!


check it out!

2 nights ago, hilly was telling me about how mean her bf's parents were to make him take the mrt on his own to the airport while the rest of the family took the cab...and i was laughing at how poor thing he was...
and now tonight...my dad happily came out of his room...stood behind my sis and i...and said..."so...tmr 2 of us have to take the mrt to the airport, coz there's no space in the cab...who's gonna volunteer?" and so...i took my eyes off the comp screen and turned to look at my dad and i saw his sinister smile at my sis and i...haha...basket...and i said..."with that look and smile on your face...it seems like we don't really have a choice do we?!" then he went "heh heh...ok so the both of you get to take the train tmr morning"...like it's some kinda honour....bleah...
like i always say...you get what you give...WaGACA i tell u...now i can laugh at myself...at how poor thing i am...sigh...haha...
alright..time to go to bed...coz i have to wake up early to take the train :(

ah it's been a while...and yet i have nothing much to blog about.haven't been doing much...either slack at home, or hang around town...oh...i've found a new place to hang out at! TAMPINES MALL!hahaha! hey it's cool man...everyone should go check out that place...they have a rooftop garden..and some cool playground!i think i've watched almost every single movie that there is...those that are really worth watching are "national treasure" and "world without thieves".sort of expected "world without thieves" to be another one of those disappointing chinese movies..but it turned out to be real nice! absolutely worth my money!

speaking of money...i spend most of my money on food!i'm definitely turning into a pig! i sleep for at least 10 hours a day...and then i laze around or eat for the rest of the day...haha! i suddenly picture myself as some freaking fat ass sitting on a couch, watching the tele and stuffing myself with food all day long *yikes* pretty horrifying! think it's time to go burn some fats!

oh! i cut off my hair! it's really short now...and yes i'm leaving for hk on tues...MORE SHOPPING AND MORE EATING!and now for some photos...

here's what's turning me into a pig...

and our "class gathering" last night...


did i mention that i'm eating this piece of blueberry cake that's full of whipped cream right now?? and that my mom just said that i'm gonna go out of shape soon?? haha...shit...

HONEY....I'M HHHHHOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha..i'm home...moved home some of my stuff from pgp...it's that time of the year again.......
time to be a queen...
to grow fat at home...
to laze around all day long....
to watch tv like there's no tomorrow...
to not have to do my own laundry....
to not have to clean my room......
to not have to cook my own meals....
to not have to eat instant mee anymore...
to have good food laid infront of me for every meal
yup..yup..yup...it's that time of the year again!! =)

helped siying move her fridge to my room today...omg...the both of us are mad...we were laughing like mad women throughout the whole way....and were trying to find the best direction to walk in...but we moved it pretty fast i must say! so now...i have a real fridge in my room! haha...and yes my friend...i will definitely fully utilise ur fridgen if i ever go back there!haha! oh...and thanx a lot for ur help on wed night! *wink* haha...thanx to yj and peach too! haha....NO MORE L.I.T!!

when hell breaks loose...all the ghouls who have been caged up in study-hell flock to the cinema....causing a major sell-out at the box office...splendid shows...junk shows...all snapped up way before the show time......and hence.....i didn't get to watch bridget jones or the incredibles....piece-ah-shite...the trouble that we all have to go through these days to watch a movie...we have to book our tickets! the wonders of internet shopping is not thatwonderful afterall...especially so when everyone's catching on with the advanced technology...grrr....

my first day out in town after god knows how long.......i spent a night in town...so many things have changed! but well...all the better...it adds a touch of excitement and interest to orchard road...now i can go explore all the nooks and crannies once again and find new stuff that will amuse me! have u all seen the dancing christmas trees? instead of looking cute...they look kinda stupid...and seriously...the way it sways...it looks like some ppl are in there doing ya know wad...HAHA!

all the beautiful clothes and shoes are tempting me once again....i wish i had more money...actually i wish i had SOME money.....i could only try them on and enjoy the feel of them on my skin...and admire myself in the mirror for tt sheer 5 mins before i had to put them back on the rack again...how utterly saddening. the pretty shoes at x:odus were going at half price...but alas they didn't have my size(as usual)...then there was tt pretty pair of heels in my current fav shop P.O.A...which i can't decide if i shld spend 33 bucks on...then tt goldish satin tank top from XI which i forgot to check out...ahh...i only spent time in heeren and ps ...i have yet to check out far east plaza....i think i shan't...i'll be even more depressed......

well in the end ...i spent like tons of money on yummy food and on stupid cds and vcds...now why the hell did i do tt?! sigh....
now for some fotos...taken with my new Cannon digital ixus 30!HAHAHAHA....



the disgusting remnants of our late dinner....

yeaps...the eggsams are over...and i'm not even delighted.....how come?!?!?! prob coz if2101 and ge2206 were such horrid papers! i hate it when i write rubbish while smoking my way thru the exam. ok.....when we smoke our way thru the exam...it already means we are just talking kok right...but sometimes it can be sensible kok...but this time round itz really plain bullshit...i'm sure of tt...sigh....

itz 12am on a sunday night/monday morning....and i'm sitting here...blogging...watching tv...eating arnott's roasted garlic and parmesan flavoured shapes and drinking a bottle of hoe garden...at home......how sad is that?! exams barely ended yest and i'm already so darn bored.......which brings me to another pt...why the hell am i drinking beer?!

wonder wad i'm gonna do for the hols...the only thing i'm certain of is tt i'll bug my parents everyday...and make them let me drive the car...haha

oh...i went for jay chou's concert last night...though i'm not a super big fan of his....i must say his concert is definitely worth the money! i was expecting him to sing out of tune during the live performance...but he was really good...he is as thick skinned as sammi i must say...haha..his canto is horrid, but he's really super good at the piano! he and this other guy from nan quan mama played "bumble bee" together...and their fingers were flying!! i was stunned! the whole performance's really good...there were 2 guest stars...nan quan mama and landy...there was tt super good piano performance...and a short performance by a dj and a drummer..but the drummer was horrid la...he was outta rhythm for a large part of the time that he was performing for.....the crowd was splendid too (much more enthu than those at sammi's concert)! when the lights went off in the stadium..the light from the lightsticks tt everyone was carrying was so nice! we spent like half the performance without lightsticks...but coz we were missing out on the fun i went out to buy two! haha..it's pretty amazing how everyone just stood up and started singing and swaying along to the music..for a moment i felt like i was part of some cult worshipping some dunno wad...haha...overall...the concert was a blast!

damn...i'm such a chatterbox..when i can't find ppl to talk to, i come and yak on my blog...hahaha...

well well...i'm a very happy girl tonight! coz bala called me just now! hahah...aren't you touched that i'm talking abt u on my blog bala? hehe...anyway...pls remember to call ninja pok and arrange a time soon so tt she can HHHHHHHAAAAIIIII YAAAAA!! some ppl...and do u still need the help of my assassins? by the way..can u pls buy something for me when u come back? how abt the white belt that i didn't buy?? hehe...and i am still very angry with u for not letting me buy the nike shirt tt time...everytime i see peter wear it then i will regret that i didn't buy it! grrrrr.....

i forgot to mention that sulin's back! WELCOME BACK SU SU!! meet up after my exams ya...and when lao niang comes back we can have our family gathering! :)

ok...back to my tv...

beer belly...*burp*

yes! yet another down...2 more papers to go...4 days to freedom..can't wait! ge2218 wasn't that fabulous today..starting to wonder if it was a bad choice to have chosen qn6, but whatever it is...it's over...the only thing i can do now's pray that i'll do well :S

hah..after the paper we slacked like as though exams were over!...jin, hil, mel, chia, peter, this other friend of theirs whom i think's called justin, n i spent 2 hrs plus in munchie monkeys eating pasta, pizza and dessert...chatting and reading magazines..and it sure felt like exams were over..until suddenly someone mentioned that she didn't feel like studying...then we all remembered that we still had papers coming up...sigh.... oh...we even had beer! haha..after only one cup..peter, justin, hil n i were all red in the face...how embarrassing!

now that i'm thinking about it...it felt like as though we were studying overseas...with the heavy rain outside..super cold weather...slacking in a bistro with no worries about the next paper....a beer in the middle of the day....hah...tt sure is the best kinda life to lead!

anyway..i came back and had the longest nap ever in a long time...2 hours...had my yummy nasi briyani dinner...and now i'm refreshed! in fact...i still feel like slacking...heh :P

oh...some guy took a foto of us and said he'll put it on the board in munchies...i hope it gets lost somewhere...:S

sometimes when i talk to you...i'm scared..
you seem to not have any feelings...your eyes have no emotions...
they seem hard and cold....void of compassion
or do they convey negative feelings?
you don't show any care or concern...
i can't read what you're thinking...
i can't tell if your words are true...or if they hide other meanings
i'm afraid to ask these days...i'm afraid to hear the answer...
i sense reluctance all the time...
suddenly you seem so distant
i don't know you anymore..

death and old age

isn't it sad..to know that when we grow old...we either die peacefully in our sleep...or we lose our ability to do everything, and we sit around everyday waiting for our death day to come? that's what henny went through...and i guess that's what my grandma's going through too...much as i dislike her...i think it's sad to have to live the last years of your life in this way. not being able talk, walk, or eat...it's as good as being dead. all of a sudden i fear death...what happens to us after we die? how does it feel to be cremated? ....how does dying feel like?? ...have you ever made a list of the people whom you think would cry for you at your funeral?...or who would even attend your funeral?...how many lives have you touched in your living days? would you die in grace...or would you die in shame? at your funeral...would people say..."she was just such a fine person...what a pity that she's gone"...or would people say..."there..the world's rid of yet another pest"...?

before death comes old age...having to grow old is the scariest thing on earth...it's even scarier than death..than walking through a haunted house...or lizards :P... i always have this sinking feeling in me when i see old people sitting around without any other aim in their lives. as i sat in the restaurant observing a group of old men and women (all of them are at least 70 yrs old)...i smiled at the fact that though they are old,they are still able to go on a holiday...sit around eating and chatting happily with each other...but yet deep inside...there was this indescribable sadness as i looked at their wrinkled faces, white hair, thin frail frames and hunched backs. it's nice to be old and happy...but it's just sad to be old.

==========

i'm such a weakling...i crumble so easily...it's only been two days..and i feel it creeping back again...i'm not determined enough...

henny penny aka fei gao

weekends are disastrous...our bodies are just tuned to not do work..and that's exactly what happened over the weekend..i only did 4 readings...which means...i'm officially dead for the day

my dog's gone =( ...he had to be put to sleep. he was so old, that he couldn't walk, and he couldn't do anything...and the ants and flies started to attack him one morning. i'm sad that the last time i saw him was two weeks ago...and when i called him he couldn't even hear me (he's been deaf and pretty blind for quite a long time) =( i'm sad that i didn't dare to touch him for a year because i was afraid he would bite me...which he liked to do since i don't know when.

i suddenly miss the days...when i used to play with him (when he didn't have the habit of biting people)...when he used to throw tantrums cause he was being punished for peeing on the car or on the pillars...when i used to secretly give him part of my breakfast every morning...when he had the energy to jump and wag his tail at the sight of food...when i woke up in the morning to find the front page of the straits times shredded to pieces..when he would sit smartly infront of the gate at 5pm everyday waiting for the children from the childcare centre to walk pass and shower him with attention by going "hallooo!!","doggieeeee!!!","woof wooff!!","so cute!!"...when i used to come home everyday from school and shout "FEI GAO!!!" and he would circle around my legs (but i think after awhile he realised what fei gao meant, coz he got pretty angry with me for calling him that...)...when i used to laugh like mad when he drenched my mom with water or fart in her face whenever she bathed him!..when i used to take the floor cloth and wrap him up in it because i thought it made him look like a cute baby bundled up in a blanket...when i used to put the floor cloth over his head and he wouldn't dare to move for 5 sec..haha..ok i am quite evil...but well he had his fair share of revenge by scratching my legs with his long sharp nails and breathing his bad breath in my face...

but those days are now gone....and now when i return home..i wouldn't even get to shout HENNYYY or FEEIII GAOOO anymore..coz he wouldn't be there =( ... bye bye henny...bye bye fei gao....



and yet another part of my life's gone...this time round...i didn't do anything to cause it...

argh! they are invading our planet!...they don't stop coming do they?!
these pesky little insects that only appear when it rains heavily....

armed with her newly acquired lethal weapon...B.G...also known as BAYGON [All Insect Killer...Fast Knockdown and Long Lasting Action]..she slowly creeps up to them and sprays a lethal dose on each of them! hur hur...
every now and then she'll decide to spare their lives...by catching them by their wings and releasing them out of the window or the door...
but alas...these insolent little creatures do not know how precious life is...they fly right back through the doors of the BAYGON chamber...
"so...you really are seeking death aren't ya? well...to hell with you then..."..and so...one by one...they receive their delicious dose of BAYGON!
after killing about a dozen of them...guilt and compassion starts to set in...n she decides to spare the lives of the next few that wander into the gas chamber...but...they do not know their limits! they attempt to molest GOOD-LUCK BEAR! how dare they!?
too bad for u...u idiotic things...ur lives will not be spared! didn't ur mama teach ya not to mess with good-luck bear?!.... pssssssssssttttttttt......
....and they get bolder and bolder each time...the next one enters the wonderfully scented air wick container..and gets itz retarded self caught in the beautiful aqua gel...destroying that beautiful piece of art...
...another attempts to climb up her leg...and loses all it's wings in her powerful hands(HAHA)...
...and of course the most idiotic of the lot attempts suicide by crawling under the magnificent cool ridge bottle and squashes itself to death...
brainless insects.....!!!
....wait a min...all of a sudden, the insect buster's feeling kinda woozy.....damn.....not only does BAYGON kill flying and crawling insects...it also kills humans when used in huge amounts......
...........................SHIT...........................

som's driving me nuts...but i'm finally done with my wonderful composition! i'm definite that i can be the next mozart, or beethoven, or mahler, or wagner, or whoever else...hoho...

WOOOHOOO! i am in my best mood ever for the whole of this sem! don't ask me why...coz i dunno either...i just feel damn good! hehe...itz the first day in blardee long that i've not had any kinda of horrible feeling in me...despite the fact tt i had horrid SC2214 paper this afternoon...which marks the end of blardee freaking hell politics and propaganda..the thing i dread most after econs(cheers to jin, hil and viv who bravely faced politics with me this sem!)... and an som composition to hand up tmr...yikes! but nonetheless...i'm in a damn good moood!!! feel like dancing!! by the way...vhat is fascist aesthetics?? was telling jin b4 the paper that if it ever appears in the paper...i'm definitely gonna skip tt qn...and indeed i did...even though i very much wanted to write abt leni and disgusting ndp =(

yo darling...u get wad ya give...so i'm gonna give u wad ya gave! hohohohoho!

oh i thought of the stupidest thing while doing my big business just now(not like anyone needed to know tt)...but anyway...was reading 8 days and i read this comment abt Daphne that she's "pretty but boring...like a vase"...then i was thinking of what would be the opposite of that saying...so i settled with "ugly but full of surprises...like an old couch"...n hence my nick for da night..."u are like a vase...pretty but boring...on the other hand...i am like an old couch...ugly but full of surprises!!" as for that fella who said i'm full of nasty surprises...ya watch out i tell ya! haha! nasty or not...at least i'm full of surprises...ya boring cootie...ok kidding la huh!!

and this song has been on repeat mode for the entire night...SHACKLES( PRAISE YOU) by Mary Mary...jin just told me tt they are gospel singers..never knew that...but the song's exactly how i feel right now! errr i dunno if itz God who liberated me from all tt sorrows...but wadeva...whoever it is...praise you!!

Whoo!
It sure is hot out hereYa know?
I don't mind though
Just glad to be great
Know what I'm saying, uh!

Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
(What'cha wanna do?)
I just wanna praise you
(Yeah, yeah)
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
(Uh feel me?)
And I'm gonna praise you
(What'cha gon do?)
I'm gonna praise you

In the corners of my mind
I just can't seem to find a reason to believe
That I can break free
Cause you see I have been down for so long
Feel like the hope is gone
But as I lift my hands, I understand
That I should praise you through my circumstance

Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise youI just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I'm gonna praise you
I'm gonna praise you

Everything that could go wrong
All went wrong at one time
So much pressure fell on me
I thought I was gon lose my mind
But I know you wanna see
If I will hold on through these trials
But I need you to lift this load
Cause I can't take it anymore

Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I'm gonna praise you
I'm gonna praise you

Been through the fire and the rain
Bound in every kind of way
But God has broken every chain
So let me go right now

Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I'm gonna praise you
I'm gonna praise you

Take them off
What'cha gonna do, yeah
Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I'm gonna praise you
I'm gonna praise you

B-E-A-UUUUUUTIFUL!!

捨不得你 　
　 　
回頭再看我的最初
尋尋覓覓活在迷惘
多得您引領我
天天您亦為我
令我找到片段亮光

完全怪我要一試高飛
完全是為著令人生更美
珍惜您愛過您
感激您念掛您
無奈到最後要分離

過去的絲絲記憶繞困我的心
我卻要掙扎離去

我捨不得您
無奈我要創造未來共您
普普通通的去愛
未夠我獨個精彩

我捨不得您
無奈我有我的未來願您
找到心中最深刻的愛
永不更改全心我祝福您

再見了
遠去了
尋求未了願
愛過了放棄了
全是自己挑選

過去了
我去了
揚翔是我願
別日日或夜夜
亦在為我心酸

my favourite song by sammi...so sad...
*i'm amused at how i can post chinese words!!!*

I'M GOING CRAZY!!!
i'm dead tired...but when i lie down..i can't get to sleep
i got a million things to do...but i can't focus
i'm hungry...but i feel sick when i eat...
when i'm alone...i feel the need for company
when i'm with people...i feel irritated
one min i am laughing...next min i am frustrated
i'm starting my long walks again....but they aren't helping this time round
i feel stressed...yet i can't get myself to work...i don't know where to start...or what to do....
i'm LOST
aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhh...........somebody save me!

i snapped. was right when i said that it would be soon...
when i'm angry i do 4 things...i either cry out of anger, scold someone damn badly, take a walk or lie down and close my eyes till i calm down...this time round i snapped at someone and took a 30 min walk after that......

is it good to tolerate? is it fair to the person...if we just tolerate until the point when we can no longer take it, then we snap at them? i dunno. in a fit of anger...i said it's fair...but after thinking it through...i guess it's not. peach may be right when she said it's not fair that we do not give people any warning that we are not happy with things and then all of a sudden we just explode at them.

i guess everything just accumulated inside till the point where there was no more space..and so i exploded. i hate the way i handle things. i hate the way i let things get to me...and i hate the way they keep revolving around in my head.
to the person whom i snapped at...i'm sorry that it had to be you.

there are certain points in your life..when something or someone enters...and you are so caught up working on things that you just neglect every other thing and everyone else who once played a large part in your life. you concentrate so much on that thing or person...and everything else seems to be shadowed from your eyes...or shelved somewhere at the back of your head.then one day...something happens and whatever you were caught up with goes wrong and...for a period of time after that..you'll feel lost and down in the dumps...and have absolutely no idea which direction to head towards. then one fine day..you suddenly start thinking of all the things you used to do which you haven't been doing...all the people whom you have neglected...and then you feel guilty for being so selfish and regret what you did...all that precious time lost. you start missing all of them and all the good times you used to have. you go back to doing what you once did...you call up the people whom you've neglected..and realise that they are still there..were always there(inevitably some may be lost)..and you realise how blessed you are. when all these happen...you know that you've surfaced from the abyss...everything bad's gonna be left behind..and maybe this time you're gonna move on with life for real. :)

songwriters these days are fantastic...they really write about anything and everything under the sun. i managed to find a song for every single thing that i was going through...or that reflected all my thoughts and feelings.i'm amused!i've never ever payed attention to the lyrics of a song...but recently every song that i hear seems to be extremely meaningful...ok except for some hip-hop n rnb songs...err those are only nice to dance along with..like "boo", "mother *beep*", "nigga" can mean anything to me.oh then there are chinese songs...really meaningful too..although sometimes i really catch no ball..but wadeva it is...pls pay attention to the lyrics of songs these days...coz some of them are really meaningful...if i posted my playlist...i wouldn't even have to open my mouth to speak...the songs will do the job for me!

so many things are easier said than done...the ideal can hardly be achieved most of the time
how the human mind works and how we let our feelings control ourselves seem to be the most puzzling thing by far
we go through every single day of our lives as though we are acting in a play...constantly putting on different masks - hiding behind them and never being able to express our true feelings
the words we speak don't always hold the truth
we speak in circles, dropping subtle hints every now and then hoping that the other party catches them
how can we smile even though it's not a genuine one?
why is it that when we are hurt...we always speak to everyone but the one that caused it?
how easy is it to forget things and move on with life?
is it fair to make use of others as a substitute just to forget ur own problems?
why are we always blind to what's standing right infront of our eyes waiting to be appreciated...instead we desire the things we can never lay our hands on?
when can we find the answers to all these questions??...

==========

guess the time has really arrived...faster than expected

that little hope that still existed has totally disappeared this time round

maybe things will get better from now onwards

it's time to walk away..good bye. good luck. for real

VANCOUVER!!!!

just felt like saying tt...hahahahaha
now..i'll try to study...sigh..

anger, violence and i

man...my butt's flat and wide...sat at munchie monkeys for 10 hrs today...studying...napping...eating...stonning...i'm poofed!

so much to do n yet so little time.

i'm a very angry person.keep experiencing waves of anger throughout the day.i wish i could punch someone...any of those people who are currently on my punch list...i bet i'll feel good. i had a very violent dream tt night..i dreamt tt i thrashed someone's room and slapped two people...kinda funny eh...but the scary thing was i felt very good when i woke up...haha..
there's gotta be a way to vent all these pent up anger...talking doesn't work anymore..running does...but it's not satisfying enough...

my temper now as compared to the past is extremely good i must say...but all tt controlling is taking it's toll on me! one of these days i'll just snap...and i think itz gonna be soon...

just got back from a run tt took 3 hrs ...and a nice long bath =) i feel good! haha...i always reflect on the entire day's happenings when i take my nightly baths...and then i'll think of stuff to write abt in my blog...so yes..here i am blogging...since i am in the mood!

all my tests are over...and i'm done with som! phew...now i can get down to studying for REAL!
as for the two tests today...i'll be happy if i pass...crap

was yakking with viv n hil when their fren came along and sat down to yak with us...and something he said really made me laugh...it's the funniest thing anyone has ever said in a long time....he was talking abt how this yr's 19 year old girls suck...and how irritating they are(finally...a guy with eyes that function..and brains that think..ha chan..now u can't say this guy thinks with ya know wad)...hahhaha...i can't help but agree with him (betta say this just in case...not referring to anyone in particular)....
what's with the pink and green hair, big plastic earrings and hordes of mismatched accessories??yes...we know tt teen vogue promotes such fashion(e accessories and not the hair of course..)..but being daring and outstanding is one thing ...looking terrible is also another...acting cute(e.g. whining) and behaving like u are damn cool or have some kinda attitude should be confined to your secondary sch days...as much as we love declaring that we were once from girls schools...some stuff that we used to do, should really be contained within those 10 years....
ok...not all of them behave this way...but MOST of them do....all in all...GROW UP...ur freaking gonna hit TWO ZERO next year!

ok...end of bitch fest...time to reward myself with the last epi of OC...

DUDE

i suddenly thought of what's his name this morning...and "yo dude".."hey dude".. keeps repeating in my head for the rest of the day.....
he says it in the funniest way....yo DOOD...hey DOOD..haha..and so now i too am addicted
and yes..there's also du-de..which is his chinese name... i'll never forget tt! haha!
now...seriously...what's his name?!

all the memories of tt relaxing 2 weeks in melb are coming back...i wish i was there now...far away from everything...those there seriously dunno how fortunate they are....
i've decided...i'll apply for sep....i'm getting out of here...from everything and everyone

and yes...we can all tell how bored i am these days from the no. of times i blog...not like my huge BORED AND GOING CRAZY doesn't say it all...but seriously...i'm really going mad
som and icm test tmr..itz 3am...and i'm nowhere near finishing...and i've been at it for the whole week...i'm screwed.

ahah! i remember now..perry's the name!

hey man...stop lying to urself dude..
it makes my stomach churn everytime...and right now..i feel like puking
but what will come out? nothing...
honey grahams suddenly taste gross...i've lost my appetite for the rest of the day
urgh i hate this feeling...bllllleeeeaaaaaahhhhhhh....cough...choke...gurgle...nope still nothing..
maybe i shld go stick my finger down my throat...
get a hold of yourself!!

BORED

and

GOING CRAZY!!!!!

Afrodisiac - Brandy

Ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Whatever you want, I got it, Papi
Don't hesitate, holla at me!
What I'm lookin' for
Is simple, you see
Love and support and sexuality
When I'm with you,
I don't wanna leave
I need you just like air that I breathe

But when I'm not with you,
I'm missing my peace
I got a lot inside I need to release
You fulfill my every desire
When I'm with you, you take me higher (Wooo woo whoo)

[CHORUS:]
You're my afrodisiac
You're the only one I'm needin'
When I go, I'll come back
'Cause there is no way I'm leavin'

You're my afrodisiac
You're the only one I'm needin'
When I go, I'll come back
'Cause there is no way I'm leavin'

There is no way you are gettin' away
I need your love every day
Medicine can't cure the way that I feel
What I need is my inner fill
Being without you, its makin me ill
Stressin me out i need to chill
Something this strong, gotta be real
Nothing or noone, show my skills
You fulfill my every desire
When I'm with you, you take me higher (Wooo woo whoo)

[CHORUS]

I admit that I'm a prisoner of your sex appeal(sex appeal)
I can't seem to find a way to escape how i feel(how i feel)
I can't wait no longer, please come give a dose to me(dose to me)
Breathin's gettin stronger need you now, close to me

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

itz raining again...the breeze is so nice...ok i change my mind...it just blew my fotos off my notice board!!...typhoon more like it....

*burp*rocky road and kopitiam bread ...yummm..
i'm studying....for real this time...not stonning but studying!except for now...itz break time!

lunch at the club n grocery shopping tmr! yay! poor fridge and cupboard are empty =(
let's see...there's a whole container of mcvites, 3 muesli bars, 3 packs of instant noodles, 1 bottle of pipa gao, a little bit of milk, 3 eggs, 2 crab sticks, 1 mini fruit and nuts bar......and...errr....5 cans of beer...haha
oh...and a container of rice..

yes! maggie the irritating/sarcastic/unfunny bitch is finally off...now i can finally have some good music on p98!

==========

yikes! they are everywhere! they're invading our world!!where do all the bugs come from??we can open a bug museum in pgp...the wide variety of bugs we get here.....

spider...beetle...ladybird...cockroach...moth...and the list goes on...

there it hangs...on a thin thread...right outside my window...it looks so weak and vulnerable..but yet it can withstand the power of the rubberband i shot at it! tt hive out there better not produce anything tt will come into my room to sting me...coz i am being kind by not taking a 2nd attempt at knocking it down....those parent bugs better be grateful tt i'm sparing the lives of their offsprings!

==========

i'm in a very good mood today...try to spoil it and i swear u won't see daylight again!

and so itz e end...

nice....

• family
• girlfriends
• diamond
• ipod
• adam brody
• samaire armstrong
• black pepper chicken chop
• grilled fish
• ice cream
• coke

they must have been lying when they said you were nice.coz i've never seen it all before.maybe once upon a time..but not anymore.but who am i to judge?for i am no better..or am i?

i had a dream........

i dreamt tt sylvester got kicked out of singapore idols!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....
if it comes true.......TOO BAD FF!!

i have the attention span of a 5 yrs old kid! sigh...i only read 4 pages of icm..and here i am back at the laptop! grrrrrrrr

i think i am a pretty good cook! haha...
cooked pasta and clam chowder with viv, yj, shiau hui and hil last night as a bday celebration dinner for hil!
and tonight...i attempted to cook claypot lap chiong rice with egg...but errm...of course i did not have a clay pot...so i had to settle with the metal pot!...and itz not bad...it even has those burnt rice at the bottom of the pot...how authentic?! hahhahahah...ok ok..it was edible..and there's some leftover..any takers??

sigh...17 more days to exams..and i am happily taking my own sweet time to do my revision!...congratulations to myself =(

bad news...the OC hater aka me...is now addicted to OC too!haha..yes slow...but itz damn nice i must say...seth is a blardee joker and a very hot one too...ryan looks like an ah pek but cute in a stupid way...summer is as irritating as i dunno wad...anna's absolutely pretty and marissa...i still hate her...poor ppl look! hahahhahahah...i wish had parents like sandy and kirsten (not tt i'm not happy with mine =p)...and i'm glad i don't have parents who are like julie and jimmy cooper

ok ok..back to work......

oh a leetle late but...HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY HILLIE THE HORSIE aka HORSE ON WHEELS!

should i make every post a different colour?? nah i don't think so...looks so idiotic

now...for some advice on cheap buys...
if u want cheap and good underwear...buy buttons underwear..they are the lowest cut underwear around...3 for 10 bucks...HAHA
if u want cheap cds...go to Gramophone at specialist centre...itz at least 3 bucks cheaper than HMV and CD-rama...and 1 buck cheaper than Sembawang
if u want a reasonable priced and filling meal...go to subway and buy a foot-long sandwich and share it with as many ppl...err do it according to how hungry u are of course
if u want cheap slippers...go to nus forum...5 bucks per pair..and they look like havaianas

==========

humans are selfish and greedy creatures
only caring about themselves
never satisfied
always digging up and holding on to the past...
never able to move on
always wanting more when they already have a lot
when will we ever be satisfied?

=========

the day it happens...is the day i'll walk away

good bye. good luck.

parousia tonight was great! been a long time since i went for their gig...err jerm and skive were...haha...i dunno wad to say...
anyway...the full band was present tonight..and for once i heard the rock version of EXCHANGE...and itz much more catchy than the acoustic one..DUH!
but anyway..it was super nice as usual...wooaaa...woooaaa...woooaaaa

it's an unfair exchange
and i can't fathom why
You're so willing to
accept my sorrows
it's an unequal trade
for Your inexpicable joy

haha i copied down the lyrics when they were flashed on the screen! but anyway..parousia also sang THE REASON by hoobastank...and it's the first time i realised how nice the lyrics were..been singing along all the while..but never payed attention to the meaning of the lyrics...brainless mouthing of words..

I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

anyway we hung ard after the performance and sy and i teamed up against jin and hobz for a game of table soccer..may i please say we suck?! haha..we lost to jin and hobz...16-10 =( BUT...no sweat...we'll beat them the next time round!

wo de ming zi shi sian hua...ying wei wo hen sian....

goodness...going crazy from boredom...i dunno wad to do =(
SHOULD be studying...but i have declared tonight as R&R night!...i deserve it! haha...
life's so boring i don't even know what to blog abt!

ok...back to my wrong moves...i swear i am a freaking psychic! coz moves 9 and 10 really occurred! haha
i woke up at 1120...and only left pgp at 1145..i had to rush like mad to hand up my essay...peggy teo sure means business when she said tt itz due at 12pm! i took 5 mins to run from biz ad to as6 to STAPLE my paper..and ran back to as1 to hand it up! i reached at exactly 12! PHEW!

i've been wanting to say this...but i keep forgetting to! my clustermates this sem are such nice ppl! they are all so friendly! i TALK to them! ...that makes me friendly too! HAHA! ok anyway...yes they are really very nice ppl..they offer me dessert...n they say gd morning n gd night to me everytime i see them in the toilet..haha! ok cheap thrill..well even the indian cleaning lady is friendly! how pleasant!? ...but erm...not to be bitchy...but my neighbour's room is a bit smelly...and the smell floats into my room =( and my air wick is not working anymore...sob

1000 wrong moves!

come on..guess wad time is it now?? itz freaking 5.43am!
eyes closing. nose leaking. brain fried. essay COMPLETED!
i'm finally done with ge2206..that's it..yet one more down..now i am left with som..i have to finish it by next week...if not i am really dead.

i've been making many wrong moves since last night..

1. i slept at 4am the night before...n i went for icm tut like a blardee zombie
2. i happily ate at genki sushi like there was no tmr..and ended up with a bill of 16 plus bucks..i think i had gold for dinner by the way
3. i slept on my right side for half an hr and ended up with an aching arm!
4. i took that stupid nap and ended up with a runny nose for the rest of the night
5. i went to take a bath at 1am and caused my nose to start leaking again when it had already stopped
6. that stupid bath made me sleepy...and i couldn't continue with my essay for half an hr
7. i did not read the instructions for my essay and i had to reprint my cover page 4 times
8. sitting here and blogging when i should be sleeping...i'm crazy!

i foresee myself making these wrong moves tmr...
9. waking up late and hence i'll hand up my essay late
10. stoning during ge2218 lecture
11. sleeping the rest of the afternoon away and then i'll be wide awake for the rest of the night
12. start watching OC when i should be doing my work :P

ok...enough said...i better hit the sack...if not moves 9 and 10 will really come true! and then i'll really be screwed!

oh...by the way...have i mentioned that I AM A FREAKING PSYCHIC?? and jw's haunting me...no sorry...us!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FF!!!

harpie burpday ff!! u are one year older once again! so stop being such a spoilt brat! haha...kidding la...anyway..what comes after sweet 16??horror 17?? i don't know wad...but HAPPY BIRTHDAY! i dunno wad else to say...haha...ok one more yr and u can qualify for m18 movies and clubbing...so in the mean time...don't break any laws..hah!hope u had a splendid celebration today...and that u are pleased with ur presents! (so...where's my F.I.R. cd?????)...oh and LAFF YOU! haha!

=========

the only thing good abt saturday was joan of arc...it's really a pretty brilliant show...although joan was a tad bit too psychotic..but the scene where she started asking the Lord to not abandon her was really sad...milla jovovich is a pretty good actress..she managed to obtain a mixed expression of hope and determination within disappointment and despair in that scene...which by the way made me tear..haha..sucker(y the hell am i insulting myself!?)

my sis ff celebrated her 17th birthday today...but i think she celebrated her 70th birthday more like it...who the hell gets buddha jump over the wall and sharksfin for her 17th birthday!? and she asked for shou mian and shou bao...she's really a grandmother i must say...haha...but oh well...if it weren't for her birthday..i wouldn't have gotten to enjoy the feast! :p

so..despite an utterly boring saturday...i had a splendid sunday...coz i got to buy a new pair of reeboks for 70 bucks..how cheap is that?! and my sis got a new pair of nike dunks for her bday...now i must plan ways to cheat her into letting me wear them! *hint* saw a very lovely pair of lacoste shoes, that's on offer...and i think i shall save up for them..i hope they will still be ard by the time i manage to save up tt sum of money!

sigh...long week ahead...can't wait for fri...i'll be done with 2206 proj by then

you never realised the damage that you have done

you brought me so far...and dropped me in the dumps
you shoved me aside..like a forgotten book
never realising how much you have hurt me..
you went on with your life...while i tried hard to pick up mine

i'm trying my best..but i can never do it
the words you said cut through my heart...
but yet you never realised the damage you have done

the tears that i've cried...are enough to fill a river
tear ducts gone dry...heart pierced beyond recognition
when will they ever heal?
would i ever learn to love again?

i thought you were the one...but it was a huge mistake
now i can't learn to accept anymore
for fear that history would repeat itself
you never realised the damage that you have done

all the things you said
all the things you did
did they not mean anything at all?

skeptical as i was...i slowly began to see that they might be real
but just as i began to...you shattered all my hopes
and now my doors are closed...forever
you never realised the damage that you have done

congratulations to myself...i can finally say that i am done with my ge2218 project! sigh...1 down and 3 more to go...when will this ever end?? i just printed out 3 journals with a total of 4000 plus words ...yes..these are the useless things that we spend our time on...i certainly do not feel that i have gained some form of knowledge from completing these 3 journals in the course of 10 weeks..

22 days to exams...very good...and i am no where near starting my revision...i'm screwed...i still have 2 more end-term tests coming up...splendid...they both fall on the same day...i suddenly wish i was dead!

it's ironic how i don't go for any SOM lectures..and yet it is the only module that i know stuff about...it's time i admit that i am absolutely clueless as to what i have been studying this semester...i feel like my mind is completely blank...or maybe the stuff are just somewhere at the back of my head..and i need some time to gather them together...

4 weeks to exams...6 weeks to the end of the semester...time passes too quickly in NUS...i'll graduate in no time...and wonder what the hell did i do in the past 3 years at the end of it all..

it's disgusting that it's near 4am (i have a tut at 10) and i'm still up doing work(was!)...but it's consoling that i am not the only one...haha..and i'm glad that there still are people online to entertain me...my current entertainer...oska!

=========

if no one read my blog...i will bitch to the end of the world about some people...i mean seriously i have the freedom to say what i want right...but then well it's just not good i guess...it's not healthy for ...........

plus...who needs more enemies and trouble when life is already so full of shit?!

=========

try as we might...it will never be the same anymore

no matter how you put it behind you...it will still remain there...and will constantly haunt you..

so grit your teeth...and withdraw your claws...

6 hours in the sun. 3 hours of netball. a swollen, pig-trotters like ankle. a burnt face. and a soleless pair of sport shoes.

that is exactly what i did today, and what i got at the end of the day....but nonetheless..i sure did have fun! it may be pretty boh-liao to pay 2 bucks to join the arts open...and play in netball matches where the refree didn't know the rules or where the score-keeper didn't keep scores properly... but it sure was something different from the usual stuff that i did every sat! the only bad part is that...i have a face that's as black as a bangla now. sigh...there goes all my hard work of staying out of the sun's path.

well..sadly..OUTRAGEOUS us didn't win the miserable top prize (and also the one and only prize) of 60 bucks =(

oh yes! i finally have my egg-shaped fridge!! it's how cool! i can now have chilled coke in my room! yay! oh and the fridge has blue lights on the outside...wah...it'll look how nice in the dark...actually then again..it might look eerie :s

while stonning(as usual) the other day...i suddenly thought of this transexual whom i see everyday.and i suddenly wondered..why did she...he...she...he...err ok she...want to change her sex? what's so good about being a woman? then i suddenly thought of something..being a transexual gives u the power of behaving, feeling and thinking(partially) like a woman..and yet on the other hand still be able to think like a man. so you can be both a bitch and a jerk at the same time. u'll be able to manipulate men in the way they do to women...and let them have a taste of wad if feels to be treated the same way that they treat other women..and of course manipulate men in the way that women do to men! now...how cool is that?! a 100% woman can definitely never be able to do tt..coz she can never figure out how a man thinks or functions...but...a transexual can...because she was once a man! plus she gets to enjoy the best of both worlds...having dated women in the past...and now being able to date men. wow.

==========

the wonders of the IU parking system....

people with bad estimation skills, short arms or short bodies...no longer have to fret! gone are the days that u have to feel like an idiot, while a long row of cars forms behind urs, while u try with all ur might to reach the parking machine to slot ur ticket into. now with much ease and convenience...u can just drive up to the machine..let it scan ur IU and in and out of the car park u go! ta dah!! once again...another round of applause for human intelligence and technology advancements!

==========

after 8 weeks of being in school...i took the public transport back to pgp for the first time after my weekend "break". while walking back to pgp...i suddenly realised something...everyone walking back looked like zombies! all of them were expressionless while they walked in a straight line...slowly following the person in front of them. although the path was filled with people walking back..there wasn't a single sound other than the sound produced by the occasional bus or car passing by. the silence made my hair stand...and for that 5-10 mins that i spent walking back..i was half cursing my ipod for dying out on me at the wrong time...and half humming maroon 5 in my head! if beautiful condo-resort-like pgp weren't right before my eyes...i would really think that those people were on their way back to their prison cells!

==========

for all those who cannot sleep at 3am on a sunday night...pls tune into channel 8...coz they have decided to broadcast that super eerie zoe tay ghost show..that never fails to freak me out! it's called yi hao xiong zhai...or at least that's how i think those words are read. the song for the show is scary enough to make me pee in my pants...but anyway....being the boh liao person that i am...i'm watching it and scaring the shit out of myself now!i'm sure i can't sleep later....

empty words. broken promises. shattered hopes. disappointment. tears of anger. tears of sorrow.
how do people tolerate and forgive those who cause them so much hurt and sorrows?

==========

friends....vary in many ways...but can easily fall into two categories...those who bring happiness to ur life...and those who don't.

there are those who only remember you in times of need. are never there when u need them. who don't give a damn if u are dead or alive. who cancel their appt with u a million times and take it for granted that u'll be ok with it. who are inconsiderate...like only letting u know that they can't make it at the last min...leaving u stranded and clueless. who can't be bothered to listen to you. who suddenly disappear from your life..like as though they never existed in the first place...or rather..you never existed before.who do not appreciate the things u do. who make u feel like as though u are inviting God to come down from heaven..each time u ask them out. who make promises they never keep. who say things they never mean. they're right next to u, and yet they don't seem to be present. the list goes on...and they don't even realise how much hurt they have caused u coz of their insensitivity.

then there are those who bring so much happiness that they seem to be a gift from heaven. they message to ask how you are doing even though the last time they saw you was a day ago. they remember the slightest details about you. they know the number of days that they haven't seen you...and tell you how much they miss you. they bother to come all the way down to where you are the moment they know that you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to. they do small little things...like buying u, u're favourite sweet..just to show tt they care and to make you smile. they only bring u laughter.. and never tears.they are always there for you.they do not forget ur existence at the snap of a finger.no empty words.no broken promises. eternal happiness.

now...ask urself...which kinda friend are you??

this has been a pretty good weekend! i feel refreshed and energized...i THINK i am ready for the week ahead.....i am sure i can make it thru the proj meeting with miss-whine-a-lot...i promise to control my hands and not strangle her halfway through the meeting...HAHA!

call me biased or wadeva la huh...but i hate girls who whine...act cute and vulnerable...or constanly ACT pathetic just so tt guys will pay attention to them(ok i accept once in a while..but not constantly)...and since i am on tt topic...i also hate guys who like those kinda girls...pathetic buncha losers...but anyway...according to the many whom i've "interviewed"....apparently they like these kinda girls because..it makes them feel macho...HAHHAHAA...PUKE!

ok...enough bitching...

==========

i just found out tt the friend whom i used to stand next to during assembly in pri sch...and with whom i used to have a "see who can successfully irritate each other first" contest...is getting married and she's gonna buy a flat with her fiance...

which suddenly made me wonder...WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE????

there she is...working and planning her marriage...and here i am studying in some pathetic local university...wondering if i'll ever get a job after i graduate (oh...i don't even know what's my ambition by the way...) and whether i'll have to join the nunnery?!

i think wad lawrence leong said last sem is true..."the longer u stay in an academic institution...the more immature u get...look at the hello kitty pencil cases tt some of u are still carrying!!" ok...i only agree with him on tt immature pt...not the hello kitty pt...i hate hello kitty by the way...

i suddenly hear this voice ringing in my head "WAKE UP YOUR IDEA!!"...and i think i really have to...sigh...time to sit down and seriously think about my future.

my dad asked me today if i intend to work after i grad with a BASIC degree...or do i intend to further my studies...and i told him...i'll decide when tt time comes...now i'm suddenly digusted with myself for giving him that answer...i should have thought carefully about it...

but well...i think i have made up my mind for now...i'll go work and earn some money to pay for my future education...i think my dad's bank is running low...and by then i'd be a tad bit too old to be living off my parents eh??

yet another week has passed..... had a 5 days break last week...which started on sunday by the way.....how idiotic can nus be??? tt break was as good as none...bcoz i spent 5 days in the hostel doing all the horrid geog and soci essays which were due on mon! but now tt they are done...i can relax for a bit...before i start on the next 3 assignments :(

sch this week's boring...spent all my days either in the lib or in tuts and lects...my enthusiasm for sch has dropped to zero over the past few weeks and is currently negative...i dread sch...i don't have the mood to go for lectures anymore..in fact ...i only went for one lecture this week...HAH!

==========

isn't it funny tt the more u detest a person the more they seem to appear infront of u? i guess the chinese saying "yuan jia lu zhai" is really true....i keep seeing ppl whom i can't stand...and they appear at places i least expect them to...

==========

itz fri and i'm back home...it must be because i miss home or i suddenly hate staying in the hostel...i think it might be the latter...but well..i'm not sure yet...oh maybe if i get my fridge i'll love staying in the hostel!

==========

do old friends get forgotten when new friends are found? i think so

i've been spending quite a lot of time catching up with ppl tt i haven't seen or talked to in a long time...and i'm quite happy tt i'm doing it.. i suddenly realised how much i miss them...the next bunch of ppl i want to catch up with wld be my sec sch mates!

==========

i think i've made up my mind...i'm working on it....and i'm slowly getting there...but itz gonna take a lot of time and many other unwanted things will follow too

hah i dun believe myself..i downloaded a ton of mandy moore songs the other day n they have been on repeat mode on my laptop. used to dislike her and her cheesy songs...but they suddenly sound so nice..haha

==========

so much has happened over the past few weeks...school work and other stuff...and they have really made me super tired...the only thing i long to do is to sleep all the time...but no amt of sleep is enough to re-charge my batteries. i just spent a total of 14 hours sleeping...and i am still damn tired!

in fact...i didn't do much this week except sleep and stone...i skipped every single lecture except one coz i had a test during the lect...and i just spent the rest of my time in the library trying to study...or sleep...

==========

things happen to change ur opinion of ppl. everyday u learn new things about the people around you. no matter how well u think you know them...in reality they are still strangers to you. they do the oddest things at times u least expect them to...and then u get a big shock.

i hate it when people say they know and understand me...or they know what i am thinking...because how u can you know, when i myself do not know??don't try to pretend that you know me well...you never will.

jealousy can kill

==========

i just started talking and hanging out with a friend whom i thought i had nothing else to talk about to anymore, and i am quite surprised that i am doing it...i thought it will never happen. and on the other hand i have closed my doors to other people. life is full of surprises.

==========

charles and i were walking along orchard and we saw a yellow zonda pagani parked outside the mandarin hotel...i was just wowing at it until charles shouted! this is a freaking 2 million dollars car! then it became WOW!!! everyone was crowding around it to take pics with whatever form of camera they had in their hands...and of course he had to take part in the excitement too.

after which we started discussing whether or not we will spend that amount of money (if we had it) on a car...i don't think i will...i'd rather spend it on other stuff...besides the car doesn't look very comfortable..haha

he asked me would i rather be super rich and bitchy and hated by the whole world..or would i rather be poor and be a friend of the world...

i thought about it for super long and i decided that i'd rather be super rich and bitchy and hated by the world. the reason for tt decision...is a very long story...

i think he chose to be poor and a friend of the world...but i said to him...even when u are poor, people will still be jealous about you and do shit behind ur back...then he said what's there to be jealous about when i have no money...well...humans are amazing, they can be jealous about every single shit in the world...

what would you all rather be?

far east plaza is evil......there are so many shops selling nice clothes all of a sudden!! sigh...i suddenly wish i had a thousand bucks...i will spend it all in INC and SHOWCASE...the clothes are so nice!bought a top for 43 bucks...which means tt once again i am near being broke... :(
well...i have been spending money on useless stuff...i bought a mini doodle pro(which was once called magna doodle!!) today...and i am going to carry it ard sch everyday!hahaha...so tt i can play tic-tac-toe during boring lects! ok...childish...deprived childhood...who cares..and...my mom bought me a finding nemo blow up lantern!! hahahhaa...i am going to hang it in my room!

weekends are evil too....everytime i come home i eat so much....like as though i have not eaten for 10 years! the amount i eat every weekend is almost equivalent to one week's worth of food! goodness me.....

am currently hooked onto track 2,3,6 and 9 of the new jay chou album!...so sweet the lyrics! and...if u want a good laugh...pls go watch garfield...tt fat cat is so freaking funny! especially when he danced to HEY MAMA...i really laughed till i couldn't open my eyes!!

藉口

翻著我們的照片 想念若隱若現
去年的冬天 我們笑得很甜
看著妳哭泣的臉, 對著我說再見
來不及聽見　妳已走得很遠
也許妳已經放棄我　也許已經很難回頭
我知道是自己錯過　請再給我一個理由說妳不愛我

就算是我不懂　能不能原諒我
請不要把分手當作妳的請求
我知道堅持要走 是妳受傷的藉口
請妳回頭　我會陪妳一直走到最後

就算沒有結果　我也能夠承受
我知道妳的痛　是我給的承諾
妳說給過我縱容　沉默是因為包容
如果要走　請妳記得我
如果難過　請妳忘了我

my life is so dull and monotonous..i have nothing to blog abt...ok got...but those stuff aren't meant for everyone to read...so i shall be irritating and blog abt wad i do everyday..

i wake up...take a bath..get ready...go to the bus stop to take the bus...run to class coz i am forever late..and then i stay in sch for lects and tutorials...and my day ends at six...at certain times of the day...i will go to the lib...n bluff myself tt i am studying...but actually i am there for the air con (cjc culture)...then after a few hrs...i will leave the library and go back into the heat!...then i try to find some ppl for dinner...and then i come back n plonk myself infront of the laptop...chat and do my work...and blast my hi-fi...irritating all my neighbours (who the hell cares??)..n when itz 2am...i go to sleep...and wake up the next day to do the same thing yet again...

i went to jog last night...after i duno how many mths of not jogging...n i successfully instilled muscle aches on myself...woooohooo...but anyway...i shall go swim tmr...i am sure it will be betta than jogging...

ok enuff of tt rubbish...i have to start on my geog journal now..1500 words...4 hrs to complete.....i think i can do it.............

oh yea ...dear T3 girls...netball next week???? itz been a looong time since we played netball!

i got a heart full of pain / head full of stress
handful of anger / held in my chest
and everything left is a waste of time
i hate my rhymes
[but hate everyone else's more]
i'm riding on the back of this pressure
guessing that it's better that i can't keep myself together
because all of this stress

some ppl...tsk...i dun understand them or wad they are trying to get at...totally give up hope

================================

i read too slowly

i'm being buried under my pile of readings

projects are killing me

the weeks are passing by so quickly

i feel confused and lost in my work

SAMMI CHENG!!!!

THE CONCERT LAST NIGHT WAS SUPERB!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm so freaking happy! after 2 long years...my angel finally returned to singapore! wooohooo! it was definitely worth the wait! i had a great time last night! seeing sammi live is......like winning the lottery or getting married! haha...add on listening to her sing...and the feeling is indescribable! yoyo, peach and i had a splendid time man...yoyo couldn't stop talking about the concert after it ended! the only sad part was that she sang alot of songs from her new album...which I HAVEN'T BOUGHT! i'm going to buy it the moment i get my allowance!

well anyway...sammi is hilarious man...she made fun of some of the audience and the whole stadium was laughing like mad...add on her horrendous chinese...and it's even funnier!peach and i tried to sabo yoyo...and make her pick him to go on stage to sing...but sadly sammi didn't even glance at him! sob...she didn't throw posters this time round!! what a waste...coz this yr we were sitting at the third row from the front...booohooo...oh yea...thanx to jean for getting those great seats for us!!

the concert was really worth 150 bucks! she changed so many costumes...the dancers were superb...there were so many stage props...and she even had a mini musical performance! and who the hell changes her costume and comes back to sing 5 songs for the encore?! sammi of course! oh...she's damn funny...b4 she went off she said...give me 5 mins to change my costume and then start shouting for ENCORE ok! which singer asks the audience to shout encore?! hahahhaha....she's damn funny la!! and she cried when she sang 2 songs...sob...ok ok..shall stop rambling on...here's some pics of my angel!!






this dress is so super nice!


doesn't she look like an angel here??


this photo is the best out of the 100 tt i took!

oh yea...i went cozy bay for the first time last night...pretty nice place...and the fish and chips are yummzzz...though a bit ex!

itz 2.30am...i'm hungry(yet again..)..and i'm awake reading some (re)theorising population geography reading...the tiny words are causing me to go blind!and i have a tutorial at 10am..sigh...i am gonna stone in class tmr...which reminds me...i haven't found an article abt media violence to gain an extra credit in class tmr!!! arrghh!!
this sem is gonna be fun...but itz definitely going to be more stressful...booohooo...i din even enjoy yr 1...and now yr 2 is getting worse!! argh.. wonder who're the idiots who kept telling me uni's gonna be a breeze...breeze my foot...more like fart!

ok i really shldn't be wasting my time blogging now...but i have to talk abt this...watched two videos tt really affected me today! the first was about the population problems in 3rd world countries...yes we know abt their lack of knowledge abt contraception yada yada yada...n hence the high birth rates...but wad affected me was how women are treated in these countries!! ok...i already know tt they are insignificant beings and practically sex slaves to the men...but arghhh i can't stand the fact tt they are treated as baby machines!! how can anyone give birth at 14?! when we were 14...we were still nerdy students learning abt sex in sci class!..anyway...wad really affected me was the scenes of the woman giving birth and another teenager going through an abortion! arrghhh!!! my stomach started churning during those parts of the video...and while showing the woman giving birth n screaming in pain...the commentator went "many women die each yr during child-birth..."...how comforting!..i seriously think i won't give birth in the future!so anyway...after that part...they started a new section about women in africa...then they went on and on abt female genital mutilation...and they interviewed all those sick-ass african men who believe in genital mutilation because it's a bloody tradition...and when asked why it is necessary for all girls to go thru genital mutilation at the age of 14...the only answer they could produce was...it's a tradition!...i hope one day the society overturns and they will be the ones who have to go through genital mutilation!i'll see what they have to say about traditions.......

now for the second movie...i was watching erm..."the wonderful, horrible life of leni reifenstahl"..ok this woman is damn amazing...i think she's immortal or something...she worked with hitler before...she can climb bare rockfaces without any ropes...she experienced an avalanche before..a camera exploded in her face..she broke her ribs when her helicopter crashed...she went to live with the nubas alone..and she can do an underwater documentary at the age of 60 or something like tt...and she died at the age of 101! she sure lived her life to the fullest man!...but that was not the thing that affected me...the thing that affected me was the part of the video where they showed the holocaust...they showed the corpses lying on the floor and they used some machine to scoop up all the dead bodies and dumped them in a pit!!! arrrghhh!! how can they treat humans like that?!ok..i know there's no other way to clear the dead bodies...but...it's the sight that's super horrifying....erm...ok i think itz not advisable to talk abt this kinda things this mth...so anyway...it was horrifying..and hitler is a psychotic sick ass! ...oh one thing tt amused me in the video was the segment on the nubas...i still don't get how people who live in the desert..with almost nothing to eat or drink..have such nice bodies...they really fit dr. lawrence leung's description of exotic and erotic erm...africans(??)...i was amused at how black their skin was...it was so black it shined! like our marching boots! ok...and it suddenly struck me how different our lives are...even though we are all human...they are so happy and contented even though they have absolutely nothing...and yet we who live in the developed world have everything and yet we complain everyday(something i'm guilty of)...

have these happened to you before?..

• you're sitting on a public toilet bowl..happily doing ur business...n all of a sudden the automatic flush activates and gives ur butt a good wash!
• eerytime u stand under tt timer controlled automatic air freshner dispenser...it decides to spray some of tt stinky air freshner...bathing you with it's wonderful scent!
• you STAND at the bus stop for half an hour...and you're bus is no where in sight...but the moment u decide to sit down...it arrives!
• you cross your fingers and toes hoping that you wouldn't bump into anyone you can't stand that day..because you believe it's a beautiful day...and you bump into every single person on your hate list!
• on the day that you are really freaking late for your lesson...the bus decides to break down...and in the midst of alighting the broken down bus...u miss the next bus.....
• you are damn hungry...and when your bowl of noodles finally arrives...u realise tt the uncle added chilli into it and you have to swallow that damn thing down even though you can't eat chilli for nuts, just because you are about to faint from hunger....
• you switch on the heater for half an hour...someone bathes ahead of you...and when it's finally your turn...there's not a single drop of hot water left for you!
• you stare at a water pipe..and wonder how come it looks so damn swollen and weird...and all of a sudden it bursts in your face!

ok...the list goes on...but have these ever happened to you?! well.....they happened to me before!!!!!! i am truly one of the most unlucky people on earth...and it's really damn loserish right...but well...what to do...that's the kinda shit luck i have....i've already accepted my sad fate...hohoho

====================

this is the first sat night tt i'm spending at home in like 4 mths...i'm a good girl today!....sch's starting to get busy already...all the readings are beginning to pile up! sigh...the vicious readings cycle is starting once again! did nothing much today except help peter fix his laptop..which worked for a while...and we were rejoicing...but after we restarted the comp...the net cldn't work again...sian....n after tt we went to town with wally.. but since there was nothing to do i came home to sleep!

=====================

went back to cjc last night to attend the band handover ceremony...and becca and i suddenly realised tt we were the first batch to have the handover ceremony! how cool is tt?! ok la...itz not...cheap thrill..but i only stayed for like half an hour because i had to leave for the motoring club welcome tea...

so anyway...peter, hobz and i went all the way to some ulu corner in jurong west to kart world...only to find out tt nusmc had cancelled the meeting coz of the rain!! how smart...in the end...we ended up in holland v with rosabelle and chaos...and we slacked there...

and...peter lent me his wife last night and this afternoon! haha...how nice of him! i had a fun time driving though i was a bit nervous...but i think i am still a major road hazard...still need tons of practise!

i'm in my foulest mood ever...and i don't wanna say why...it's too complicated...the only thing i want to do now is to scream or throw a chair out of the window...but i'm sure i'll end up in jail after tt...which isn't worth it...maybe i need to go for some anger management sessions...

ben: don't worry, work with what you've got ahead of you now. things happen for a reason eh? =)
saltz: haha i hope things really happen for a reason...some things happen to only bring pain and sorrow
ben: they do. you're quite right. hopefully, they mean a suffer now and enjoy later theory. happened to me...so hope it works for ya too sH ~ =)
saltz: thanx ben...i also hope it works tt way :)
ben: :) yeah! i'm quite sure it will. look on the brighter side of things yeah?

seriously...why do certain things happen to make u depressed? i don't see the point...is there really a reason behind it? do we really have to suffer first to enjoy later? i don't see any enjoyment ahead in wad's going on now... i seriously can't stand this shit anymore...

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

=My Happy Ending= Avril Lavigne


avril still sucks...but the lyrics are damn good n how true...much better than skater boy at least!

back in pgp! i finally got my hostel again! yay! no more long and tiring daily train and bus journeys! i spent 4 hrs cleaning and unpacking my stuff on monday...i almost collapsed at 2am!sigh...i've been so dead tired since monday..and every night when i lie down to sleep...i can't sleep! wad da hell...tt is really one of the worse feelings on earth man!...feeling utterly exhausted and yet not being able to fall asleep! so anyway...for the past 2 nights..i only managed to really fall asleep at 5am..n before i know it, i have to wake up again! *sob*

went to ikea yest...n got some new stuff for my room...and they are...a new lime green pillow..a document tray...and a table mirror! the ikea sale is damn good! everyone shld go! went there again today...but i bought nothing at all...bcoz i am officially broke for the mth..so i had to stop myself from buying anything..sighh...

my walls are bare...and my food cupboard's empty...

ok...i've been whining like some irritating ass...now for some good things tt have happened...VIV AND HIL ARE STAYING IN TH!! wooohooo!!! i finally have company!!! i dun have to stare at the walls and feel sad anymore...and i finally have ppl to have my meals with!...n of course not forgeting those staying in pgp this sem...siying, donna, cheeken n chaos!

my laptop's back! finally! felt so damn cut off from the world without it!

=========================

arrrghh...i feel damn bad...after slacking for 4 whole mths...my brain has degenerated to the extent that i cannot remember the names of many of my friends! was talking to 3 of my jrs today..n the first thing they said to me was...can u remember us?! n i said of course! but ...after like 5 mins...i had to tell them...i'm damn sorry...i seriously can't remember ur names...

shucks...i better go try and remember everybodys' names to avoid anymore embarrassment!

===========================

i've given up

back to school...

sch has finally started after a super duper long break! think i'm mad.... i'm quite happy that i can get to go to school again! guess itz coz i've been slacking for so damn long....that i'm bored of doing it already!

hmmm first day of sch was pretty ok.... i only had 3 hrs worth of lecture...and a 5 hrs break in between! ultimate sian-ness...back to the usual stuff....slacking in the canteen...and in the study room in yih...coz there was air con! haha...some ppl are scary...school has barely started and they are already studying in the study room!

well...my dear laptop decided to pull a stunt on me...it happily locked me out...n because i can't log in i had to go queue up in the comp centre to get it repaired! wat the hell...of all times it had to spoil now...i was counting on it to get my notes printed since the blardee printer at home is down!now...i can't get my notes and readings printed....grrr...and my laptop's sleeping in the comp centre waiting to be repaired!

was complaining about getting lawrence leong for mass media...but after the first lect i think itz quite good that he's our lecturer again...other than his sarcasm and his lousy jokes (that only he laughs at..) ..i think he's a pretty good lecturer after all...and phantom MIGHT become our tutor....i think this might be a pretty good sem after all! haha!

watched collateral last night...a pretty ok movie with a simple storyline but there were some parts of the show i din get and now i feel dumb coz i din understand the significance of certain things in the show!...jamie foxx seems to be more of the lead actor than tom cruise...wonder how come only tom cruise's face was on the poster...bet itz coz if they had featured jamie foxx...no one will go watch the show!

at the start of the show i was just thinking to myself...if only singapore had more of such friendly cab drivers...we do have friendly cab drivers here...but they talk rubbish most of the time...and instead of being entertained...i always end up getting irritated! but anyway...surprise surprise...i met a very nice cab driver last night and it was the best cab ride back home ever! for once i got to listen to nice music and was spared the torture of having to listen to hokkien songs or some kok chinese radio station! the friendly uncle was introducing chinese songs to me! haha...and he purposely changed the ocean cd he was listening to, to jay chou for me! how nice! and then we both started singing in the cab and i got a shock when he managed to rap along with jay chou! he told me how he has to keep up with the music that youngsters listen to...otherwise he will not be able to understand or communicate with his son and daughter...that he always bring them to sing ktv...and that ppl call him the cool uncle!hahaha...i agree man!

he said that it doesn't matter whether the lyrics made sense or not..as long as it's nice to listen to, that's good enough...and that applies to what we do in life too...what matters is that we are happy! how i envy his children! if only my dad thinks that way too!if only he will start listening to the kind of music i listen to...and not call them trash...or at least stop forcing me to listen to his chinese instrumental music! yuck! or if only he will encourage me to do the things i like...instead of trying to make me do the things i hate...then again..he hasn't been very successful in making me do the things i hate...thank god for my stubbornness! if not i'll be the most unhappy person on this planet!haha!

just came back from the cheesecake cafe....my stomach's about to burst! had tiramisu and ice choc...haven't had a good tiramisu in a long time! think the last time i ate tt was in nus at the cafe gecko...or gecko cafe...wadeva la ...aniwae tt one was gross man! it was like sponge cake with whipped cream and cocoa powder! cheat my money! harry the klutz broke the lamp in the cafe!! hahahha...and the stare that the lady boss gave him scared the shit out of him! but the boss was really nice...he said it was ok..and din make him pay for it!

i finally sat in my dream car today!!!!!! my dear mazda 3....so nice!!!! sigh...if only i can get it...then again...if my dad really decides to get a mazda 2 for me...i'll be happy enuff! he's calculating the cost now......i HOPE he decides to get it!


mazda 3.....

mazda 2

====================

messaged a few friends whom i've not talked to for a long time ....was hoping that they'll be coming to nus this sem...but sadly...NONE of them are coming!! sigh...and i was looking forward to seeing a few more familiar faces in school =( ...good thing's tt they'll be in ntu...at least i'll see them around the west area...

=====================

zouk the other night wasn't that fun...thing i'm getting sick of zouk...or clubbing....it's the first time i sat down in zouk and stoned for 15 mins!hmm...or maybe i'm getting old.........

sigh...trouble's brewing again....my peaceful days are once again over...i need to go find some hole and hide in it till this is over =(

why are some ppl so stubborn and inflexible? can't they ever listen to what others have to say? why do they always insist that they are right? can't they spare a thought for others once in a while? if they ever bothered to keep quiet and listen to what others have to say....they might just snap out of their selfish mindset and realise that what the rest have to say do make sense...then everyone can compromise and live happily and peacefully together......

i just hope laughing and joking... and pretending that nothing's happening will help to lighten the mood.....

============================

and to that certain someone...my days were really great when u weren't around...pls dun come back to haunt me...and ruin my life once again.....u make me sick...if u really have to...pls refrain from spoiling my days...or i swear i will give u as much hell u will regret u ever tried to make mine like shit