who am i trying to kid when i reasoned out everything and came to the best solution to all that's going on now? nobody, but myself. i need to go away for as long as possible. i'm angry with the whole world and how everybody decides what i'm supposed to do with my life. why do i not have a say in anything?

"we decided to volunteer your time on doing blah blah blah"

isn't it MY TIME?! then why am i not asked beforehand whether i would like to have MY TIME volunteered? why do i have to take instructions for the miserable amt that you are paying me. you know what? i fucking quit ok...go find yourselves another stupid admin specialist. i've had enough.

and to all at home...stop asking me questions and stop nagging at me. i've had enough.

and to you...i don't know what to say anymore.

is life better as a pet dog?

was feeling like shit this afternoon. absolutely no mood for work or anything else. had a very bad migraine that caused my vision to blur, and made me feel like puking the entire day. and i had to stay back till 645, and bring work home. sucks to the max.

anyhow...C and i did it once again. for the second time this week, we boarded the bus without knowing where we would end up at. and today we ended up at east pt. after a crappy snack of carrot cake and prawn balls, checking out ugly clothes at E.P. and talking rubbish to the in-line skating shop owner..we found ourselves in pet safari. and here, i forgot all my woes for a good 15 mins.

dogs are just the cutest things on earth..except for corgis, poodles, chihuahuas(hate them the most) and this other breed that i forgot the name. i couldn't stop taking pictures of them and ooohh-ing and ahhh-ing over them. my fav's the yorkshire terrier...and the chow chow's so freaking fat and cute. but that sei fei zai..as i was saying how cute it looked, it turned it's butt to me and shat right infront of me...basketball...so much for cuteness and manners. sigh...i wish i still had a dog.

time for bed once again...and then a brand new day of troubles and unhappiness starts all over again.
maybe life as a pet dog is better...u get fed and loved without having to ask for it...tt's provided if the pet dog does not get abandoned of course...

life's agony lies in not getting what the heart desires.

super wtf....

saw this at dinner just now. i swear..after u say it in ur head repeatedly...u really get convinced that it's called glass jerry!

24th sept...

majorly overdue. photos from 24th sept. a suprise party which failed. after much sms-ing etc..leonard and i finally organized a surprise party for the bday boy who just returned from his 2 weeks sailing trip. but omg it was a complete flop. i had to coax him to go to the place...and when we finally walked into the restaurant..there were only 3 ppl sitting there when there was supposed to be 7...i think the shock i got was bigger than the shock tt he got.


anyhow...thanks daph for the pics! i am still disappointed that my face is only in one of them...and i will still distort all of them coz i am unhappy about it. haha!

ah 24...what a lovely number...because 2 mths after 24 sept...it's 24 dec..and it's the bday of someone special ...someone by the name of saltz *hint hint*

friday's when we drink and get drunk and cry over the start of a new working week in 2 days

Life's Peachy and Life's Good (Lg, i will report all my toilet trips to you, and who i go to toilet with)

kunies and some scary looking person
the real peach, jin and saltz

J.A. and i

some random guys i met at zouk...oh erm sorry...i mean..my bf, his flen, clement and his flen, errand (i hope none of them sees this).

ok i am in the process of discovering my talent in doing web whatever u call it.
the colours on my blog totally suck...so pls pardon the terrible look of my blog right now.

*snorez*
*oinkz*
*pootz*


blah. the days are so "blah" these days.

work is going doooowwwwwnnnnnn....losing my drive. everyday i go into work like this -_- and try to be like this O_O. just as i was wondering how low it could go, i got assigned a new task. to think of creatives for the company's website. woohoo! ok i'm exaggerating, i just have to think of which pages i want to edit and come up with some catch phrase. but oh well, something new, and it sure beats staring at these "1090198350923560123974" everyday.

my colleague asked if i was interested in marketing as in marketing per se, and i said...err yea sure, i mean like i'm a lost youth. throw me anything and i'll try it.but maybe spare me the numbers and reports?and she said "ok cool, if i have events that i need help on, i'll let ya know!"...yay!...." but first i'll check with ur sup of course"..ok, dang.

this week's planning week...EVERYBODY'S out of the office and i'm left all alone at my desk with no one to talk to. i'm becoming autistic. i miss the two crazy women who sit beside me :( to make things worse, i lost their numbers when i lost my hp, and i can't sms them. basket.

so i decided to go and make a new friend. i went to search for the "msn" contact of the new girl sitting in our aisle and asked if she wanted to lunch together. i'm like some blardee weirdo/stalker who anyhow attack strangers. and she said ok sure,why not? (i can't rape her what right).ok...the world is so freaking small, it's not funny. turns out she is one yr older than me, from cjc, and from my senior class. wtf. so i named all the guys in my class and she said yes she knows them..then she asked me if i knew ***** and i said yes. then she haha! he's my ex boyfriend. eh wtf. ok scary enough! so yay...now i have a new friend :) (blardee pathetic i am)

say....if only i knew the name of that cute guy who sits on my level...heh. then i can search for his "msn" contact and like make friends with him too *snigger*

a good one that my colleague sent me

"True Friendship"

(With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)
Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but
never actually come close to reality. Well, here is a series of promises that
actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley
faces on this card - Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against
the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will take the piss out of you about it every
chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much
worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again.
I don't want catch whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because
you are my friend".

Friendship is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you
can feel the true warmth.

And remember.... when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila, salt and
call me over!!!!!

you think it's a joke?
you think it's funny?
it's not anymore.

sleepless nights.
nightmares.
occassional sweet dreams of daytime fantasies that are disrupted by sudden awakening, and realization of the cold hard truth.
not being able to go back to sleep.
not having the appetite to eat.
not being able to cry.
aching heart.
migraine
dark eye rings.
fucking pimple.
cramps.
lack of energy for anything and everything.
stabbing pains in my back.
legs that turn numb.
constant naggings at home.
nochalance that's greeted with even more naggings about bad attitude.
having to meet expectations.
leading a life of others.
having to do what others want, and expect and yet not being able to get what i want in return.
contradictions.
being told that i have a choice to lead a life of my own, and yet being forced to conform to others' expectations at the same time.
not having the energy to explain to people whom i wish would understand the fuck that i am going through.
having to accept others' views and points and yet not being able to bring mine across.
fucking lost my phone.
call me if you want me to have your number.
distance.
urge to punch something, someone or even myself to transfer the pain, but yet not having the guts to do so.
fucking coward.
not being able to stand up for what is mine.
cheap fucking sluts all around, whom i would just punch inthe face if there weren't any law, but yet all i could do was shove them, and yet they still came back like flies to a pile of shit.
i can't do this anymore.
and yet i can't not do it.