have you ever tried telling people that you are down or depressed, and you really have no mood for anything..especially not work, and all you want to do is stay at home and lie under the covers to cry and sigh, and the answer you get is...don't talk rubbish. stop being lazy. you have no patience or perseverance etc.? it's like you say u feel like shit, and then u get even more shit back.

well that's what happens when i tell my parents that.

wtf. maybe they will really believe me when i start like talking to air, or sit in the corner and start like chewing paper or what.

There's a danger in loving somebody too much,

and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.

There's a reason why people don't stay who they are,

Baby, sometimes love just ain't enough.

us..the great rats!

Though the Western rat is reviled as little more than a bottom-dwelling disease carrier, this animal is viewed much differently in the East. The Eastern rat is revered for its quick wits and its ability to accrue and hold on to items of value; rats are considered a symbol of good luck and wealth in both China and Japan. Clever and quick-witted, the Rat of the Chinese Zodiac is utterly disarming to boot. Possessed of excellent taste, this Sign flaunts its style at every turn. Its natural charm and sharp, funny demeanor make it an appealing friend for almost anyone. The Rat likes to know who is on its side and will treat its most loyal friends with an extra measure of protection and generosity.

Behind that sweet smile, though, Rats are keen and unapologetic promoters of their own agendas. This Sign is motivated by its own interests, which often include money; greed can become a problem if the Rat isn't careful to keep its priorities straight. This Sign's natural powers of charm and persuasion can definitely come in handy! Although they are often hoarders, Rats can be very generous to those in their "pack," namely friends and family members who have proven their loyalty. Others might perceive them as quick-tempered and sharp-tongued, but never boorish. Verbal jousting is a great pleasure for the Rat, a Sign that everyone around will quickly learn either to love or to hate.

Rats enjoy being on the outside looking in, as the outside affords a view into the inner workings of a system or situation. The Rat's keen mind always seeks out new knowledge, to be stored away for future use. This ever-curious Sign also welcomes challenges as a way to stay sharp. If boredom sets in the Rat is no fun at all, but that isn't likely; this Sign knows how to keep itself entertained.

A valuable lesson for Rats is to learn to consider others above themselves, at least sometimes. If they can develop their sense of self and realize it leaves room for others in their life as well, Rats could find true happiness.
The most compatible match for a Rat is the Dragon or the Monkey.


aren't you glad i'm your friend??? sekali tmr suddenly i have no more friends...

today i had a sausage egg mcmuffin, a hashbrown and a cup of ice milo for my breakfast :)

ok that's all. hah...u wish.i'm so talkative..how can that be all?!

anyway macs is up to the same tricky long john silver business. when u order a breakfast meal..they ask u what drink wld u like? and when u say ice milo...they will ask u..medium? HAH! TRICKY BASTARDS! don't fall for that! say...NO! SMALL YOU TRICKSTER! SMALL!

so anyway as i was saying...after breakfast...i started falling asleep. as in seriously. so i had to resort to calling my pfc friend and pretend that i was interested in buying some bonds..but she said sorry we no sell bonds. wtf. and after 3 mins she said she had to go...bah. so i started falling asleep again.

then i decided to call this guy i call my bf. and he asked me...why didn't you msg me yest? to which i replied...why didn't u msg me yest? and he said no...why didn't u msg or call me yest? and i said why didn't u msg or call me yest? so we spent 5 mins asking each other the same qn. and finally we went through both our schedules for yesterday and came to the conclusion that i was busy so i didn't msg him, and he FORGOT to msg me. at this pt...he drops a whole of bottle of pepper into the bowl of noodles he was cooking and shouts...FUCK! I CAN'T EAT MY NOODLES ANYMORE! hah! serves him right. see what does this teach u? remember to call/msg ur gf everyday or ur lunch will get ruined.

yest my colleague said to me...listen to my piece of advice. don't waste your time quarrelling with your bf. because men are stupid...their minds only think in one direction...it doesn't diversify like ours. so there's no pt arguing with them and trying to get them to understand how we feel and think because they JUST WON'T GET IT. i thought about it and i think...yea that's quite true. so i shan't quarrel from now. (yar right.)

did i mention tt my dad bought me an ipod video as an early bday gift? i think i didn't. yes! i finally have a new ipod! and it hangs everyday. so i haven't even had the chance to use it. what a trashy piece of junk! now i gotta bring it back to the shop! ok anyway..thanks pop.

i'm so f***ing pathetic, i don't know what to do with myself.

robbing me of my riches

i don't think i am a very greedy person. or that i ask for a lot in life. i am pretty satisfied with what i have, even though i am constantly being shortchanged...my salary is the best example. overworked and underpaid. maybe in my last life, i was a greedy person who had a lot but was never contented, so that's why i'm constantly being robbed of my riches in this life. please stop taking away "things" from my life. leave me with the very little that i still possess. please.

let me lead a life of my own, and not a the life of others or the way others want me to be.

falling sick and getting an mc ...check!

being surrounded by sick ppl who are constantly coughing germs into the office atmosphere for a month + extremely terrible haze + being overworked + trying to maximize my very shortweekends (hence staying out till the time normal ppl wake up to go to work) = finally falling sick and getting an mc!

so yes. that is one item off tt list of things that i have to do.

but then....because i am suay and really special, i do not fall sick the way that most ppl do. most people just get flu and fever aka runny/blocked nose & ears+ cough+fever....i on the other hand have to be different.

1. i get these stabbing pains in my back...for 3 days...and tt got me worried because ppl start saying tt, tt's where my kidney is located and it might be serious problem.
2. i fall half sick. the feeling of ur flu threatening to develop and yet not developing is the worst but anyway it finally developed on sunday night...and hence i slept through the entire monday.
3. i get diarrhoea. wtf.
4. i get weak legs tt keep going numb from the diarrhoea

why can't i just fall sick like everyone else?! but anyway...as a result of all these rubbish, i got to leave the office at lunch to come home to work today. so right now...i am WORKING FROM HOME. and i really like the idea of working from home...work has never been more enjoyable and comfortable. haha.

of course the best part of it all is that the toilet is right behind me, and i can dash in the moment i need to go...unlike in the office, i have to lock my comp first, then run to the toilet which is miles away.

and luckily my supervisors are nice people, they allowed me to go home the moment i told them i'd visited the loo 6 times since i stepped into the office...here's the conversation btw my sup and i..

me: hey j, do u need me ard this afternoon? i think i've got diarrhoea or something coz i've been to the toilet 6 times since i got into the office...and if u don't need me ard, i'll go home during lunch and work from home
j: oh no...i hope it's not that stomach flu thing
me: oh no...i hope not too. i can't believe how suay i am..my butt is aching like hell now..not tt u need to know tt..haha
j: haha yes..too much details!
me: hahah
j: ok sure..u can work from home..i just cc-ed u regarding *****
me: yup i just got it, will work on it at home
j: sorry to have to torture u with work despite ur burning asshole
me: HAHA! no worries man...

very humourous ppl they are indeed...yes my asshole is really burning. crapz.

impatient active landmine

"don't waste my time". that's the sentence that's constantly repeating in my head these days. time is THAT precious to me. i have almost zero tolerance for indecisiveness and wishy-washy-ness. i cannot stand it when ppl tell me, "i dunno", "anything". and i'm sorry if i snapped at anybody recently, particularly u know who you are. so let's say if i let you choose, and u can't decide, then i make the decision, and u say no, then u are dead meat. because my time is precious, and if you are going to waste my time with your indecisiveness and i decide to make the choice for you, but u don't agree, then i am going to snap and explode in ur face.

and then there's the active landmine bit. i get angry at the tiniest bit these days. and i am sure someone knows that well. as much as i've tried to control my temper, i have failed. i was only successful for two days, out of the 10 days that this has been going on for. argh. i hate it. i think i'm better off alone. if i go on the way i am, everybody will just start avoiding me and i'll lose my friends.