because i have aunties and uncles for colleagues, i spend most of my days talking to myself (in my head) in the office.
am currently reading up on the ingredients that go into the organic skincare range that i'm currently selling (everybody shld buy something from me, because the stuff's really good!...okay, totally unconvincing..but seriously it's good..because it's working on my skin!) [sidenote: VISIT MY WEBSITE!! www.salve.com.sg] and there are all these hard to pronounce scientific names of the ingredients..for example:
mandarin's (orange) scientific name is Citrus Reticulata. So can you imagine, during CNY, we might just be having a conversation that goes something like:
A: Heyyyy gong xi fa cai!
B: gong xi fa cai to you too!
A: oh! here's a pair of CITRUS RETICULATA! may you huat ah!
then there's Lemongrass that's actually called Cymbopogon Schoenanthus.
the next time i go to thai express or mart boulevard, i'm so going to say this to the waiter/waitress:
me: excuse me! can i please have a glass of iced CYMBOPOGON SCHOENANTHUS with honey please? :) ( ya, that's if i can even pronounce the damn name)
oh! and i was just asking my friend whether she knew that Lavender's scientific name is Lavandula Augustifolia??? like seriously..wtf...
in future my daughter's name will be Lavandula, and my son will be called Augustifolia.
Lavender has a calming and soothing effect on people right?? but i'm sure with names like that, my kids will definitely have damn complex natures..hohoho
Thursday, April 15, 2010
chronicles of the _______ maid
for the past 3 months, we have been living with this new maid from Myanmar who's just ________. pls note that prior to this job, she has 1 yr working experience in Singapore, so it has nothing to do with her being inexperienced or a difference in culture. i don't even know what word to use to describe her, so please fill in the blank yourself, based on the stuff that i'm going to tell you...
1) apologizing for mistakes:
when our old maid was still around, she will apologize for all the mistakes made by the old maid even when it does not involve her. and after the old maid has left, she die also refuse to admit her own mistake, instead she chooses to argue non-stop
2) preparing breakfast:
one day, she suggested to make tuna sandwich for breakfast for my elder sis, and peanut butter sandwich for my younger sis. my mom told her to just keep it simple and make tuna sandwich for the both of them. the next morning...they get a special breakfast of...tuna AND peanut butter sandwich.
3) arranging flower pots:
she tries to fit a big flower pot into a small flower pot, and when the pot couldn't go in, she just kept trying over and over again, because she can't figure out why the BIG flower pot cannot go into the SMALL flower pot.
4) vacuuming the floor:
if she plugs the vacuum cleaner into a socket, she will only vacuum areas that can be covered by the maximum length of the vacuum cleaner, anything beyond that, she does not vacuum. and if u ask her why she does not vacuum the other areas, her reply is "no more wire". it does not occur to her that she can plug the vacuum cleaner into another socket
5) setting of the dinner table:
all cutlery are set on the RHS of each seat. but for her, she sets the cutlery on the RHS of each seat on one side of the dining table, and on the other side of the table, she sets it based on the mirror image of what she sees opposite her - aka the LHS. and no matter how u explain to her...it's set that way. even if u demonstrate to her, she does not get it.
6) boiling water:
she boils water to refill all the water flasks in the morning. by evening, the water flasks are empty. if you ask her why she never boil more water..her reply is "i boiled water this morning already". it does not matter whether the flask is now empty or not, to her, as long as she boiled water in the morning, there's no need to boil again at any other points of the day
7) mopping of the parquet floor:
after 10,000 rounds of demonstration, she mops the floor with a mop so wet that it seems as though she WASHED the floor. and instead of using the "hair" of the mop to mop the floor, she spreads out the hair and uses the stick to scratch the parquet
8) telling lies:
she never puts things back in their original position. sometimes we put it back for her (while she watches us put the stuff back in their original position), and then we ask her why didn't she put the things back in their original position..she replies " i put back! (points at the item that she just saw us placing back) this one i put back here!".
when questioned whether she cleaned the floor/table that has a THICK layer of dust on it, she replies in a very defiant manner "I CLEANED THIS MORNING!". yup, we surely believe that there's so much dust in the air that a new layer can accumulate in less than half a day
9) taking meat out of the freezer:
when we tell her to take chicken out of the freezer, she takes out pork from the freezer. by the way, the word "PORK" is written in bold red words on the packets, and yes she knows how to read and spell english.
10) identifying colours:
when asked to take a PINK basket out from the storeroom, she takes out baskets of every other colour except the PINK one.
11) packing bags:
some mornings, she wakes up and decides that, today is the day she goes home...so she proceeds to pack her luggage and then she sits on her bed and refuses to do anything.
12) crying:
on other days she cries like as though her whole family just died, and ...she cries for no apparent reason.
13) good mornings:
oh yes...and there are some other mornings when she skips up the stairs and waves at me with a big smile on her face and says "GOOD MORNING!!" in this oh-so-melodious manner
14) singing:
she sings at the top of her voice while washing the toilet. she also takes one and a half hours to wash ONE toilet.
15) spying:
she eavesdrop on all our phone conversations, and spies on everything that we do. you know she's doing it because...she wipes the same spot over and over again the moment you get on the phone. and she lingers around our desk while we are using the computer.
16) personal hygiene:
she does not brush her teeth in the morning, and i suspect some days she does not shower.
she uses spoons that have washing detergent on them to eat.
and the list goes on...if you are wondering why we do not send her back, it's simply because her agent does not want to take her back. and yes, i am filing a complaint with CASE on the bad services rendered by the maid agency. for now, we tolerate her nonsense, till we find a suitable replacement.
1) apologizing for mistakes:
when our old maid was still around, she will apologize for all the mistakes made by the old maid even when it does not involve her. and after the old maid has left, she die also refuse to admit her own mistake, instead she chooses to argue non-stop
2) preparing breakfast:
one day, she suggested to make tuna sandwich for breakfast for my elder sis, and peanut butter sandwich for my younger sis. my mom told her to just keep it simple and make tuna sandwich for the both of them. the next morning...they get a special breakfast of...tuna AND peanut butter sandwich.
3) arranging flower pots:
she tries to fit a big flower pot into a small flower pot, and when the pot couldn't go in, she just kept trying over and over again, because she can't figure out why the BIG flower pot cannot go into the SMALL flower pot.
4) vacuuming the floor:
if she plugs the vacuum cleaner into a socket, she will only vacuum areas that can be covered by the maximum length of the vacuum cleaner, anything beyond that, she does not vacuum. and if u ask her why she does not vacuum the other areas, her reply is "no more wire". it does not occur to her that she can plug the vacuum cleaner into another socket
5) setting of the dinner table:
all cutlery are set on the RHS of each seat. but for her, she sets the cutlery on the RHS of each seat on one side of the dining table, and on the other side of the table, she sets it based on the mirror image of what she sees opposite her - aka the LHS. and no matter how u explain to her...it's set that way. even if u demonstrate to her, she does not get it.
6) boiling water:
she boils water to refill all the water flasks in the morning. by evening, the water flasks are empty. if you ask her why she never boil more water..her reply is "i boiled water this morning already". it does not matter whether the flask is now empty or not, to her, as long as she boiled water in the morning, there's no need to boil again at any other points of the day
7) mopping of the parquet floor:
after 10,000 rounds of demonstration, she mops the floor with a mop so wet that it seems as though she WASHED the floor. and instead of using the "hair" of the mop to mop the floor, she spreads out the hair and uses the stick to scratch the parquet
8) telling lies:
she never puts things back in their original position. sometimes we put it back for her (while she watches us put the stuff back in their original position), and then we ask her why didn't she put the things back in their original position..she replies " i put back! (points at the item that she just saw us placing back) this one i put back here!".
when questioned whether she cleaned the floor/table that has a THICK layer of dust on it, she replies in a very defiant manner "I CLEANED THIS MORNING!". yup, we surely believe that there's so much dust in the air that a new layer can accumulate in less than half a day
9) taking meat out of the freezer:
when we tell her to take chicken out of the freezer, she takes out pork from the freezer. by the way, the word "PORK" is written in bold red words on the packets, and yes she knows how to read and spell english.
10) identifying colours:
when asked to take a PINK basket out from the storeroom, she takes out baskets of every other colour except the PINK one.
11) packing bags:
some mornings, she wakes up and decides that, today is the day she goes home...so she proceeds to pack her luggage and then she sits on her bed and refuses to do anything.
12) crying:
on other days she cries like as though her whole family just died, and ...she cries for no apparent reason.
13) good mornings:
oh yes...and there are some other mornings when she skips up the stairs and waves at me with a big smile on her face and says "GOOD MORNING!!" in this oh-so-melodious manner
14) singing:
she sings at the top of her voice while washing the toilet. she also takes one and a half hours to wash ONE toilet.
15) spying:
she eavesdrop on all our phone conversations, and spies on everything that we do. you know she's doing it because...she wipes the same spot over and over again the moment you get on the phone. and she lingers around our desk while we are using the computer.
16) personal hygiene:
she does not brush her teeth in the morning, and i suspect some days she does not shower.
she uses spoons that have washing detergent on them to eat.
and the list goes on...if you are wondering why we do not send her back, it's simply because her agent does not want to take her back. and yes, i am filing a complaint with CASE on the bad services rendered by the maid agency. for now, we tolerate her nonsense, till we find a suitable replacement.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
my friends' names according to my mom...
was helping my mom to sort out her mobile contact list, and am surprised that she has quite a number of my friend's mobile numbers. has she been calling you guys to check on me?!?!!?
anyway...this is how she spelt your names (in blue) in her contact list:
- Hildra : hilda-hua-friend
- Peach - Siew Peng
- Mel - MEL
- Hobz - Hop Day
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Pastor’s comments on Buddhism/Taoism "inappropriate & unacceptable": MHA
Channel NewsAsia - Tuesday, February 9
SINGAPORE: The Internal Security Department (ISD) has called up Pastor Rony Tan of Lighthouse Evangelism in connection with his comments and insinuations about Buddhism and Taoism at his church sessions.
These sessions were video—recorded and made available on Lighthouse Evangelism’s website. Video clips of these sessions subsequently became available on YouTube and other websites.
The Ministry of Home Affairs said Pastor Tan’s comments were highly inappropriate and unacceptable as they trivialised and insulted the beliefs of Buddhists and Taoists.
They can also give rise to tension and conflict between the Buddhist/Taoist and Christian communities.
ISD told Pastor Tan that in preaching or proselytising his faith, he must not run down other religions, and must be mindful of the sensitivities of other religions.
Pastor Tan has expressed his deepest apologies and remorse. He deeply regrets that he has been insensitive and offensive towards the Buddhist and Taoist faiths, and that his comments have saddened and hurt their followers.
He has promised that it will never happen again and has also affirmed that he will tell his members to respect other beliefs and build a harmonious Singapore.
— CNA/ir
Channel NewsAsia - Tuesday, February 9
SINGAPORE: The Internal Security Department (ISD) has called up Pastor Rony Tan of Lighthouse Evangelism in connection with his comments and insinuations about Buddhism and Taoism at his church sessions.
These sessions were video—recorded and made available on Lighthouse Evangelism’s website. Video clips of these sessions subsequently became available on YouTube and other websites.
The Ministry of Home Affairs said Pastor Tan’s comments were highly inappropriate and unacceptable as they trivialised and insulted the beliefs of Buddhists and Taoists.
They can also give rise to tension and conflict between the Buddhist/Taoist and Christian communities.
ISD told Pastor Tan that in preaching or proselytising his faith, he must not run down other religions, and must be mindful of the sensitivities of other religions.
Pastor Tan has expressed his deepest apologies and remorse. He deeply regrets that he has been insensitive and offensive towards the Buddhist and Taoist faiths, and that his comments have saddened and hurt their followers.
He has promised that it will never happen again and has also affirmed that he will tell his members to respect other beliefs and build a harmonious Singapore.
— CNA/ir
ya....HALLO!? why do these ppl always do these kinda things?! why can't they just leave other religions alone?! the next person who tries to convince me tt their religion is better than mine...u just watch it...i will call up ISD!
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Say Wat??
13 days in Thailand. 7 modes of transportation. 10,000 Buddhas, Wats and Stupas. Palace ruins. 2 Waterfalls. 1 man-made hilltribe village. Exploitation of indigenous people. No-se-pie-see food. Food poisoning. Fever. Gazillion bottles of Brand's berry extract essence and Yakult. Countdown to 2010..and we're home again.
Ayuthaya
Sukhothai
Chiang Mai
Chiang Rai/Golden Triangle/Laos
Countdown to 2010 in Bangkok
Sukhothai
Chiang Mai
Chiang Rai/Golden Triangle/Laos
Countdown to 2010 in Bangkok
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