snigger...

talking to our dear friend, peach this morning....whose display picture was kermit the frog (omg i typed gurmit the frog -_-")


peach says:
yo
saltz says:
yo
saltz says:
wah what did u eat?
saltz says:
how come u are all green?
peach says:
.....
peach says:
vege
saltz says:
frogs eat veg one meh!

.................................... much later.............


peach says:
this is a vegetarian frog.
saltz says:
hmmm no wonder this frog looks greener than the rest
peach says:
hahahah
peach says:
i jus realized frogs are green
saltz says:
yar...........u spastic
saltz says:
hahahhahaha

office humour....

the kind of humour that circulates an IT industry.....


"If Bill Gates Had Built the Car"

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on...

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, GM issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........ Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the e ngine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

I love the next one!!!

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

phuket...phuket...

a day of being a typical tourist, and getting 'cheated' at all the designated tourist spots. first mistake of the day - boarding a cab tt promised to bring us ard for 20 baht per person. We ended in places like the lok kok pearl factory,the honey factory (where we had to listen to this uncle describe how good honey is for the body in MANDARIN),the dfs shop...until finally we requested to just have our lunch and be sent back to the hostel. so we got driven to this restaurant meant for kah-ing tourist aka us, and had this super sumptuous spread by the sea.this sumptuous spread of course came with a hefty bill of 50 plus sgd, and i almost stupidly gave a 1000baht tip..all because of my blurness and miscommunication. i hate communication barriers. times like these make me wish i knew how to speak every single language on this planet. hah! nevertheless, the lunch was damn shiok, and my fav dish was the deep-fried squid with garlic and black pepper..yumz to the core. thankfully the taxi driver was honest,and didn't pull any weird stunts, such as charging us more than the 20baht that he quoted at the start of the excursion. then again, i guess we can trust the thais..afterall they seem to be a bunch of full-of-morals people!

ventured around phuket town later that night. because i found a whole slab of charcoal pills in my bag, i decided to be a little less cowardly, and a little more adventurous by trying out the food at the night market..so here i am eating my bowl of fishball kway teow in the night market. the night market had like cockroaches (hil's best friends..haha) running ard and dogs lazing around. it kind of shouted "GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU LAO SAI!", but surprisingly no such thing happened.haha..looks like my fears of eating at roadside stalls all these years, were uncalled for.

the next day, tourguide charles brought us to this place that according to the lonely planet sells one of the famous phuket delicacies. this supposed delicacy was absolutely not delicate to our tastebuds at all. when the spoonful of noodles soaked with curry enters your mouth, the first thing that goes to your mind is,"yummm..green curry.."..and that thought is immediately replaced by an explosion in your mouth and a "knnbccbmf SPICY la!!!" afterwhich, your tongue hangs out like a dog, and you will start fanning it to make the spiciness go away, but sorry ,no such luck. we finally got rid of that burning sensation with this sweet glutinous rice with tapioca dessert that the shopkeeper and his wife offered to us (while laughing at our monkey act). mental note: no more phuket delcacies for the rest of the trip!
after that super hot breakfast, we found a tuktuk parked along the road, and after negotiating with the driver, he promised to bring us to the bungy jump/go-kart/patong beach for 300baht, and even promised to wait for us,to send us back..but...not before offering to bring us to some tourist hotspot. omg...not again. we said no like one million times, and he begged us to just go to 2 places so that he can get his chops, and then he'll bring us to our destinations. the way these taxis and tuktuk work, are that they work for this company that pays them a commission for every tourist hotspot that they bring their passengers to. so, being the kindsouls that we were (haha!), we agreed to go to only ONE place..and it turned out to be the same pearl factory that we went to the day before -_-".

anyhow, after that, we went to the bungy jump, but of course cowardly me didn't jump. i was the designated photographer. we met some funny japs there..whom we met again at the go-kart place. go-karting was damn fun, but hard to steer, and i end up with two blisters on my hand, and one on my foot..all from fighting with the steering wheel and the abrasion with the floorboard of the go-kart. bah.

the rest of the afternoon was spent on thai massages (shiookk), pedicure/manicure and watching "happy" boys play volley ball and work their "broken wrist" syndrome. totally iron-ladies like.
mobile advertisment:"tonight..tonight..monday night...come watch the best..come watch them fight..tonight..tonight...monday night..." -_-"
muay thai match in the night. wah..damn hardcore man the fighting, no such thing as acting, like in the WWE matches. the first match involved two kids, this poor fat boy, he looked so tough and fierce, but he started hyperventilating when the other boy punched him in the stomach. there were guest boxers from japan, iran and "u-s-and-a". the jap guy damn jia lat..after 2 punches, his head started bleeding and his face was covered in blood, but he was a fighter..he didn't give up until he konked out in round 4! the iranian guy was a wuss. he looked so fierce, like a terrorist..hahaha..but he got cornered the entire match by the damn zhai thai boxer. and as for the "u-s-and-a" guy..he basically just ran round the ring trying to buy time and not get knocked out. yet another wuss.

i've always wondered how the thais, vietnamese and cambodians managed to squeeze like a family of 5 on their motorcycles, but after the match, we had a taste of it. two of us plus the driver on this small little motorbike..wave- the kind macs uses for delivery..and that little thing brought us through the mountains back to phuket town. everytime the rider changed gear i thought we were going to get flung off the bike! :S scary but thrilling experience.

we took the local public bus to patong beach again the next day, and the trip cost us 20 bahts each, and there was no such thing as going to tourist destinations this time round. damn. why didn't we just take the bus??? at patong beach, we got off 1km from our destination, all because we were trying to be smart asses and guess where our guesthouse was at,instead of asking. haha..so we had to troop back to the hotel in the sweltering heat, with our heavy bags slung over our shoulders, and i got a sunburn from doing that. omg, i swear i am the ultimate loser.

after scouting ard for our chang beer/red bull/singha beer singlets and fake-o board shorts, not forgetting our price slashing session, we changed into our beach wear and headed to the beach to slack under the hot sun with a cold beer. sweet. i of course chose to hide under the umbrella because i turn dark damn fast, and i of course turn into a bangla in no time.

spa at karon beach later that night, wah it was super duper good, but i forgot to bring my cam into the spa room. it was super duper nice! and we ended the night with yet another seafood feast, at one of those makeshift roadside stalls outside our guesthouse. the service was super good, and that made us wonder why our country can never achieve that standard of service, when the people serving at a ROADSIDE stall in phuket could. sigh...

after dinner, we went for a few rounds around patong beach - to breathe in the night air, fully utilise the bike (thank you "click", you served us well..haha), and to enjoy the night scene- and a stroll down the clubbing street, was how my last night in phuket ended. and then it was back to dreary old sg for me :(


those who had a ball of a time in krabi. shucks...it looks so damn nice. i wish i went.

zzzzzzz

alright.. i think it's time to unlock my blog..had to lock it previously coz of some stupid reason..which i shall not mention, because everybody will just say that i am a kok.

wah my blog has been damn dead ever since i locked it, and i think it still is going to be because i am damn lazy to blog! bah!

anyway...was away in phuket for the past few days...and i have to say that is a damn nice place!
seriously...i am about the last person on earth who would go to one of these beachy places because i am absolutely not a beach person and i hate tanning like hell. that's because i turn dark damn fast and always end up looking like a freaking bangla instead of some healthy sporty hot chic...burnt fat chick, maybe..but hot chick...no.

omg..1am...time to sleep...i shall blog more when i have my cam back and when i am less lazy!