i hate going to hospitals.especially the ward full of old people.it just makes me depressed.when i'm there i feel like closing my eyes and pretending that i cannot see how all the old people are suffering.it just makes me even more worried about growing old.i don't want to be bedridden when i'm old...or contract any awful disease =(

my dad says my grandma cannot hold on for much longer..and her condition's pretty critical...every phone call makes us jump, and everyone's prepared for the worse...but when i went to visit her this evening, she was just getting better.there's some kind of virus going round the entire ward, because most of the patients were having a fever.though she may not be on my "favourite people" list..i felt sad looking at her.at how half of her body's swollen, and how she couldn't open her left eye.in fact, for the first time in my life,i felt like crying for her.i guess its true that all hatred's forgotten when a person's on his/her deathbed.my dad's in some kinda frenzy, and he seems lost whenever he hears that her condition is getting worse, and he keeps asking "how?".and i told him in the 'softest' manner that i could put it, that its best that she goes, because that's the only way to relieve her from her pain....growing up is tiring...growing old is depressing.