chronicles of the _______ maid

for the past 3 months, we have been living with this new maid from Myanmar who's just ________. pls note that prior to this job, she has 1 yr working experience in Singapore, so it has nothing to do with her being inexperienced or a difference in culture. i don't even know what word to use to describe her, so please fill in the blank yourself, based on the stuff that i'm going to tell you...

1) apologizing for mistakes:
when our old maid was still around, she will apologize for all the mistakes made by the old maid even when it does not involve her. and after the old maid has left, she die also refuse to admit her own mistake, instead she chooses to argue non-stop

2) preparing breakfast:
one day, she suggested to make tuna sandwich for breakfast for my elder sis, and peanut butter sandwich for my younger sis. my mom told her to just keep it simple and make tuna sandwich for the both of them. the next morning...they get a special breakfast of...tuna AND peanut butter sandwich.

3) arranging flower pots:
she tries to fit a big flower pot into a small flower pot, and when the pot couldn't go in, she just kept trying over and over again, because she can't figure out why the BIG flower pot cannot go into the SMALL flower pot.

4) vacuuming the floor:
if she plugs the vacuum cleaner into a socket, she will only vacuum areas that can be covered by the maximum length of the vacuum cleaner, anything beyond that, she does not vacuum. and if u ask her why she does not vacuum the other areas, her reply is "no more wire". it does not occur to her that she can plug the vacuum cleaner into another socket

5) setting of the dinner table:
all cutlery are set on the RHS of each seat. but for her, she sets the cutlery on the RHS of each seat on one side of the dining table, and on the other side of the table, she sets it based on the mirror image of what she sees opposite her - aka the LHS. and no matter how u explain to her...it's set that way. even if u demonstrate to her, she does not get it.

6) boiling water:
she boils water to refill all the water flasks in the morning. by evening, the water flasks are empty. if you ask her why she never boil more water..her reply is "i boiled water this morning already". it does not matter whether the flask is now empty or not, to her, as long as she boiled water in the morning, there's no need to boil again at any other points of the day

7) mopping of the parquet floor:
after 10,000 rounds of demonstration, she mops the floor with a mop so wet that it seems as though she WASHED the floor. and instead of using the "hair" of the mop to mop the floor, she spreads out the hair and uses the stick to scratch the parquet

8) telling lies:
she never puts things back in their original position. sometimes we put it back for her (while she watches us put the stuff back in their original position), and then we ask her why didn't she put the things back in their original position..she replies " i put back! (points at the item that she just saw us placing back) this one i put back here!".
when questioned whether she cleaned the floor/table that has a THICK layer of dust on it, she replies in a very defiant manner "I CLEANED THIS MORNING!". yup, we surely believe that there's so much dust in the air that a new layer can accumulate in less than half a day

9) taking meat out of the freezer:
when we tell her to take chicken out of the freezer, she takes out pork from the freezer. by the way, the word "PORK" is written in bold red words on the packets, and yes she knows how to read and spell english.

10) identifying colours:
when asked to take a PINK basket out from the storeroom, she takes out baskets of every other colour except the PINK one.

11) packing bags:
some mornings, she wakes up and decides that, today is the day she goes home...so she proceeds to pack her luggage and then she sits on her bed and refuses to do anything.

12) crying:
on other days she cries like as though her whole family just died, and ...she cries for no apparent reason.

13) good mornings:
oh yes...and there are some other mornings when she skips up the stairs and waves at me with a big smile on her face and says "GOOD MORNING!!" in this oh-so-melodious manner

14) singing:
she sings at the top of her voice while washing the toilet. she also takes one and a half hours to wash ONE toilet.

15) spying:
she eavesdrop on all our phone conversations, and spies on everything that we do. you know she's doing it because...she wipes the same spot over and over again the moment you get on the phone. and she lingers around our desk while we are using the computer.

16) personal hygiene:
she does not brush her teeth in the morning, and i suspect some days she does not shower.
she uses spoons that have washing detergent on them to eat.

and the list goes on...if you are wondering why we do not send her back, it's simply because her agent does not want to take her back. and yes, i am filing a complaint with CASE on the bad services rendered by the maid agency. for now, we tolerate her nonsense, till we find a suitable replacement.

where did this kid pop up from? and damn weird tt ludacris is rapping in his song!but....the the tap tap revenge version is quite fun...hur hur!

wavin' flag

zis song is much nicer than the new "we are the world"

you belong to me - jason wade

my friends' names according to my mom...

was helping my mom to sort out her mobile contact list, and am surprised that she has quite a number of my friend's mobile numbers. has she been calling you guys to check on me?!?!!?

anyway...this is how she spelt your names (in blue) in her contact list:

• Hildra : hilda-hua-friend
• Peach - Siew Peng
• Mel - MEL
• Hobz - Hop Day

i couldn't help but LOL to myself..when i saw siew PENG and HOP day! well..i guess at least it's not boxer or hobdog!

Pastor’s comments on Buddhism/Taoism "inappropriate & unacceptable": MHA
Channel NewsAsia - Tuesday, February 9

SINGAPORE: The Internal Security Department (ISD) has called up Pastor Rony Tan of Lighthouse Evangelism in connection with his comments and insinuations about Buddhism and Taoism at his church sessions.

These sessions were video—recorded and made available on Lighthouse Evangelism’s website. Video clips of these sessions subsequently became available on YouTube and other websites.

The Ministry of Home Affairs said Pastor Tan’s comments were highly inappropriate and unacceptable as they trivialised and insulted the beliefs of Buddhists and Taoists.

They can also give rise to tension and conflict between the Buddhist/Taoist and Christian communities.

ISD told Pastor Tan that in preaching or proselytising his faith, he must not run down other religions, and must be mindful of the sensitivities of other religions.

Pastor Tan has expressed his deepest apologies and remorse. He deeply regrets that he has been insensitive and offensive towards the Buddhist and Taoist faiths, and that his comments have saddened and hurt their followers.

He has promised that it will never happen again and has also affirmed that he will tell his members to respect other beliefs and build a harmonious Singapore.

— CNA/ir

ya....HALLO!? why do these ppl always do these kinda things?! why can't they just leave other religions alone?! the next person who tries to convince me tt their religion is better than mine...u just watch it...i will call up ISD!

sick of EVERYTHING. i want to give up!

Vietnam

Say Wat??

13 days in Thailand. 7 modes of transportation. 10,000 Buddhas, Wats and Stupas. Palace ruins. 2 Waterfalls. 1 man-made hilltribe village. Exploitation of indigenous people. No-se-pie-see food. Food poisoning. Fever. Gazillion bottles of Brand's berry extract essence and Yakult. Countdown to 2010..and we're home again.

Ayuthaya

Sukhothai

Chiang Mai

Chiang Rai/Golden Triangle/Laos

Countdown to 2010 in Bangkok

lalalalalala...i vant to go home nowwwww

my family's housekeeper's contract is coming to an end, and we are currently hunting for a new housekeeper. so far we've identified someone...and her name is something something nway nway.

this is a really random mean thought...but i don't think i can get past 2 years without sniggering each time i say her name...tt's if we really do hire her in the end.

and if anybody thinks i am damn evil...well i think i have every damn right to laugh at other people's name, since my name is one of the biggest jokes of my life! hur hur =)

Christmas Greeting Cards

for christmas every year, my company will create its own christmas greeting cards, which will be sent out to our clients. Last year's was a really cool magnetic card, with Santa on the front, and there were little magnet pieces with different clothes printed on it...you know..the paper doll style? so the receivers can change santa's clothes according to how they wanted him to look.

so just yesterday, we caught a glimpse of this year's christmas card...and omg...it's the LAMEST card ever on earth!

pls see below....................

the tick is the back of the card, the logo is the front of the card, and NOEL is what ppl see when they open the card.

if you have not already noticed..our company logo is missing an "L". we're ogiLvy not ogivy.

and if you still don't get the lame joke...NOEL has a double meaning in this case......

1) NOEL = Christmas

2) NOEL also = No, "L". hence the reason why the logo reads Ogivy instead of Ogilvy

it's so lame...i'm sure everyone's gonna think we are retarded.

this is the reason why i am happy that i am out of school

Try this PSLE Maths Qn:

Jim bought some chocolates and gave half of it to Ken. Ken bought some sweets and gave half of it to Jim. Jim ate 12 sweets and Ken ate 18 chocolates. The ratio of Jim’s sweets to chocolates became 1:7 and the ratio of Ken’s sweets to chocolates became 1:4. How many sweets did Ken buy?

Ans: 68

I swear.. i am damn happy i am out of school!

my second home

while i am waiting for my colleague to send me some files...i shall post some pics of my second home @ my desk at work. check out how messy and cluttered it is. because i spend more time at my desk than in my own house...i have succssfully transferred all my mess from my home to my office...just joking. but anw...all i need is to bring my shower stuff and some clothes, and i think i can camp here already. oh wait a min..i actually have those already -_- sob ...i don't have a life =(

chewdawg

because my sisters forced me...i created a pet in pet society. my pet's name is chewdawg, and it has my favourite expression. which is the -_-" expression. look at her sian face...totally describes how i feel everyday! excuse the flies around her...she has not bathed in days. i'm like that sometimes too...but what really amuses me is....................

chewdawg sleeps all the time! and i mean all the time! which is exactly what i do too. how is it possible that a freaking e-pet can behave like its owner..aka me?! freaky...what's freakier is...she sleeps on the hard cold floor when there isn't a bed...which ...erm....is exactly what i do too...wtf.

Facebook

I didn't know that facebook had this function. hilarious but kinda cute at the same time..

anw, i am sure facebook will come up with a marriage function that is something like the image below...and some unromantic guy will use the function to propose to his girlfriend...just like how a lot of SG guys like to propose to their girlfriends by asking them to apply for HDB flat -_-

Sims 3 - Brady Millions

i bought the sims3 game about a month ago, and was super addicted to it initially because of all the cool new functions in the game, and also because the couple i created were damn good looking...haha! being the control freak that i sometimes am, of course i had to choose like the best character traits for them, and ensured that they mastered all the necessary skills and achieved their life goal. for the man, it was to be an astronaut, and for the woman, it was to be a CEO.

so anyway, i was super devastated when the couple passed away, and the game became pretty boring after that. their 2 sons were goody two shoes, but weren't major high achievers because...erm...well...i was too busy making the eldest son find a wife..but he only befriended all the maids, and finally married one who turned into an old woman one day after their wedding. wtf.

and well the youngest son...was too busy trying to start up his family. he had a girlfriend who moved into the house, and they had a baby boy, but they weren't married. hence the kid followed the gf's surname, and then of course being the somewhat old fashioned person that i am...i was mortified that they had a child out of wedlock. HOW CAN?! and for some reason...the "propose" function refused to come out until the gf was pregnant with the second son. so the moment the function came up, i made them get married...also because...if they didnt' get married, the gf gets the family fortune. no way jose!

it did not help that i had 4 Sims to control at that time, and also that sometimes, they do the things that i don't want them to do...so i was busy tracking all of them down. for instance, they will go to work and not go home. instead they will stand outside the office grumbling that they are tired.

so yes..before i digress any further..i got quite sick of the game...UNTIL...the first grandson @ 1st son of the younger son..grew up with the clumsy and insane trait. omg...how the hell did he get those traits when both his parents had super good genes right?? oh btw.. i cannot stand choosing the negative traits for my sims, because well...i can't imagine them growing up bad =( sigh....

BUT...because the son is insane, he does the funniest shit ever! last night he was standing in the kitchen staring at the fridge...in his underwear...and all of a sudden he starts strangling himself and screaming for help and choking. from that point on...i decided to let tt particular kid (his name is Brady Millions by the way) run on autopilot.

after he was done with strangling himself, he smiled and then walked to the stairs and started talking to the stairs.afterwhich he made a mad dash up the stairs to the toilet...and i was wondering why the hell does he need to pee when his bladder bar was green and full..and guess what he did? he just sat on the toiletbowl and swung his legs back and forth!! hahaha friggin hilarious!



some other weird things he does....he goes to bed wearing his formal wear i.e shirt, tie, and pants. and then in the middle of the night he will wake up to change into his PJs. after school he will go to the playground instead of going home...but he scores As in school because he also possess the genius traits.

and tonight..the funniest thing he did was...bathe with his clothes on. because his newest trait is...NEVER NUDE. hhaha...so friggin retard. can't wait to see what other weird stuff he'll be up to!

after sitting around on my fat ass for the most part of my life, i think i have finally done something worthwhile in the past 3 months to get something moving. there finally seems to be a faint light at the end of this bloody long tunnel that i've been travelling for eons in.

i hope all works out well and that i achieve something for all the effort that i've put in for the past 3 months, and for the effort that i am going to put in, in the days to come.

GREEN REVOLUTION

i've decided to start a green revolution in my team. and this involves us bringing our own tupperwares out to ta bao lunch everyday, so that we can save 20cents, and reduce the amount of plastic used everyday..thus saving the earth =D how great!

so this big idea resulted in a trip to daiso this afternoon, where we spent a good 30mins finding for the perfect tupperware amongst 1,000 other tupperwares...and voila...here's the chosen one!

am pretty excited about bringing my tupperware out to ta bao lunch tmr...hur hur........sigh...cheap thrill

so when we forget, it's our fault...
and when others forget...it's our fault for not reminding them?
wtf...do we look like calendars or babysitters?!