snigger...

talking to our dear friend, peach this morning....whose display picture was kermit the frog (omg i typed gurmit the frog -_-")


peach says:
yo
saltz says:
yo
saltz says:
wah what did u eat?
saltz says:
how come u are all green?
peach says:
.....
peach says:
vege
saltz says:
frogs eat veg one meh!

.................................... much later.............


peach says:
this is a vegetarian frog.
saltz says:
hmmm no wonder this frog looks greener than the rest
peach says:
hahahah
peach says:
i jus realized frogs are green
saltz says:
yar...........u spastic
saltz says:
hahahhahaha

office humour....

the kind of humour that circulates an IT industry.....


"If Bill Gates Had Built the Car"

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on...

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, GM issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........ Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the e ngine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

I love the next one!!!

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

phuket...phuket...

a day of being a typical tourist, and getting 'cheated' at all the designated tourist spots. first mistake of the day - boarding a cab tt promised to bring us ard for 20 baht per person. We ended in places like the lok kok pearl factory,the honey factory (where we had to listen to this uncle describe how good honey is for the body in MANDARIN),the dfs shop...until finally we requested to just have our lunch and be sent back to the hostel. so we got driven to this restaurant meant for kah-ing tourist aka us, and had this super sumptuous spread by the sea.this sumptuous spread of course came with a hefty bill of 50 plus sgd, and i almost stupidly gave a 1000baht tip..all because of my blurness and miscommunication. i hate communication barriers. times like these make me wish i knew how to speak every single language on this planet. hah! nevertheless, the lunch was damn shiok, and my fav dish was the deep-fried squid with garlic and black pepper..yumz to the core. thankfully the taxi driver was honest,and didn't pull any weird stunts, such as charging us more than the 20baht that he quoted at the start of the excursion. then again, i guess we can trust the thais..afterall they seem to be a bunch of full-of-morals people!

ventured around phuket town later that night. because i found a whole slab of charcoal pills in my bag, i decided to be a little less cowardly, and a little more adventurous by trying out the food at the night market..so here i am eating my bowl of fishball kway teow in the night market. the night market had like cockroaches (hil's best friends..haha) running ard and dogs lazing around. it kind of shouted "GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU LAO SAI!", but surprisingly no such thing happened.haha..looks like my fears of eating at roadside stalls all these years, were uncalled for.

the next day, tourguide charles brought us to this place that according to the lonely planet sells one of the famous phuket delicacies. this supposed delicacy was absolutely not delicate to our tastebuds at all. when the spoonful of noodles soaked with curry enters your mouth, the first thing that goes to your mind is,"yummm..green curry.."..and that thought is immediately replaced by an explosion in your mouth and a "knnbccbmf SPICY la!!!" afterwhich, your tongue hangs out like a dog, and you will start fanning it to make the spiciness go away, but sorry ,no such luck. we finally got rid of that burning sensation with this sweet glutinous rice with tapioca dessert that the shopkeeper and his wife offered to us (while laughing at our monkey act). mental note: no more phuket delcacies for the rest of the trip!
after that super hot breakfast, we found a tuktuk parked along the road, and after negotiating with the driver, he promised to bring us to the bungy jump/go-kart/patong beach for 300baht, and even promised to wait for us,to send us back..but...not before offering to bring us to some tourist hotspot. omg...not again. we said no like one million times, and he begged us to just go to 2 places so that he can get his chops, and then he'll bring us to our destinations. the way these taxis and tuktuk work, are that they work for this company that pays them a commission for every tourist hotspot that they bring their passengers to. so, being the kindsouls that we were (haha!), we agreed to go to only ONE place..and it turned out to be the same pearl factory that we went to the day before -_-".

anyhow, after that, we went to the bungy jump, but of course cowardly me didn't jump. i was the designated photographer. we met some funny japs there..whom we met again at the go-kart place. go-karting was damn fun, but hard to steer, and i end up with two blisters on my hand, and one on my foot..all from fighting with the steering wheel and the abrasion with the floorboard of the go-kart. bah.

the rest of the afternoon was spent on thai massages (shiookk), pedicure/manicure and watching "happy" boys play volley ball and work their "broken wrist" syndrome. totally iron-ladies like.
mobile advertisment:"tonight..tonight..monday night...come watch the best..come watch them fight..tonight..tonight...monday night..." -_-"
muay thai match in the night. wah..damn hardcore man the fighting, no such thing as acting, like in the WWE matches. the first match involved two kids, this poor fat boy, he looked so tough and fierce, but he started hyperventilating when the other boy punched him in the stomach. there were guest boxers from japan, iran and "u-s-and-a". the jap guy damn jia lat..after 2 punches, his head started bleeding and his face was covered in blood, but he was a fighter..he didn't give up until he konked out in round 4! the iranian guy was a wuss. he looked so fierce, like a terrorist..hahaha..but he got cornered the entire match by the damn zhai thai boxer. and as for the "u-s-and-a" guy..he basically just ran round the ring trying to buy time and not get knocked out. yet another wuss.

i've always wondered how the thais, vietnamese and cambodians managed to squeeze like a family of 5 on their motorcycles, but after the match, we had a taste of it. two of us plus the driver on this small little motorbike..wave- the kind macs uses for delivery..and that little thing brought us through the mountains back to phuket town. everytime the rider changed gear i thought we were going to get flung off the bike! :S scary but thrilling experience.

we took the local public bus to patong beach again the next day, and the trip cost us 20 bahts each, and there was no such thing as going to tourist destinations this time round. damn. why didn't we just take the bus??? at patong beach, we got off 1km from our destination, all because we were trying to be smart asses and guess where our guesthouse was at,instead of asking. haha..so we had to troop back to the hotel in the sweltering heat, with our heavy bags slung over our shoulders, and i got a sunburn from doing that. omg, i swear i am the ultimate loser.

after scouting ard for our chang beer/red bull/singha beer singlets and fake-o board shorts, not forgetting our price slashing session, we changed into our beach wear and headed to the beach to slack under the hot sun with a cold beer. sweet. i of course chose to hide under the umbrella because i turn dark damn fast, and i of course turn into a bangla in no time.

spa at karon beach later that night, wah it was super duper good, but i forgot to bring my cam into the spa room. it was super duper nice! and we ended the night with yet another seafood feast, at one of those makeshift roadside stalls outside our guesthouse. the service was super good, and that made us wonder why our country can never achieve that standard of service, when the people serving at a ROADSIDE stall in phuket could. sigh...

after dinner, we went for a few rounds around patong beach - to breathe in the night air, fully utilise the bike (thank you "click", you served us well..haha), and to enjoy the night scene- and a stroll down the clubbing street, was how my last night in phuket ended. and then it was back to dreary old sg for me :(


those who had a ball of a time in krabi. shucks...it looks so damn nice. i wish i went.

zzzzzzz

alright.. i think it's time to unlock my blog..had to lock it previously coz of some stupid reason..which i shall not mention, because everybody will just say that i am a kok.

wah my blog has been damn dead ever since i locked it, and i think it still is going to be because i am damn lazy to blog! bah!

anyway...was away in phuket for the past few days...and i have to say that is a damn nice place!
seriously...i am about the last person on earth who would go to one of these beachy places because i am absolutely not a beach person and i hate tanning like hell. that's because i turn dark damn fast and always end up looking like a freaking bangla instead of some healthy sporty hot chic...burnt fat chick, maybe..but hot chick...no.

omg..1am...time to sleep...i shall blog more when i have my cam back and when i am less lazy!

GONG XI FA CAI!

on the eve of cny eve, a very bored bunch of us decided to not go to WB..but instead, we headed to guess where?? .....CHINATOWN! a totally insane decision because it was freaking hot and crowded, and we had a hard time finding for a parking space...but well..we still braved the crowd :)

doing stupid poses.having to squeeze through the very crowded, hot and humid crowd..reminds me of KL's chinatown.hobz with the hugeass ong lai.

"diet piggy cookie jar" - manufactured specially for meems..it even oinks when u lift the lid! entertaining ourselves (booo..ugs me in toot specs coz of mucus emitting eyes :S ) while ah soh meru was in action. she bought cny decorations and spent a damn long time choosing the best "fu". peach got influenced by meru and decided to get an ong lai with the words "zhao cai jing bao" on it ...tsk these bankers!
some interesting sights: "Piggy Porky" eatery - meru's once again..wah meru..it is indeed ur year, and now we know chinatown is actually where your home belongs! "King of the King's Durians"..wtf??? Hobz braving the yucky trishaw for a photo. and Hobz pants..oh sorry...i mean peach's!hahah..kidding...the pants was so big..i think 4 of us cld fit in!

For our reunion dinner this year,my family (mom's side) gathered in a nice little Italian restaurant that served pretty good Italian food. Aren't we hip?? haha...there was yu-sheng too..Italian style..with smoked salmon instead of raw ones..and err dunno what veg that was. Calamari and portabello mushrooms for starters..marsala veal or seafood linguine or duno what seabass for the main course...tartufo ice-cream or lemon sorbet for dessert...and to end the night..a tiramisu cake...which was actually a birthday cake for Mar. Okay..we had such a fine menu because it was also Mar's 21st birthday..haha..HAPPY 21st cuz! welcome to the oldies club :P

cny day was spent visiting the same old houses that we go to every year and dinner at my uncle's place. it was there, that i finally found the answer to why i have been feeling fatter and fatter everyday..it's because i'm actually shrek's relative! 0_0 and the numerous reunion dinners are not helping to make me less shrek-like...sob sob.


and last night, a small group of us gathered in my rp's house for steamboat..wah the food is even better than the one in my house! thanks rp for the lovely spread :) and fifi for the cake..which i forgot to eat...bah! after dinner we went for kbox at amk central (bloody expensive! gonna boycott kbox from now on..28.80 per head for 3hrs.plus extra compulsory charge for tidbits and 10% service charge..wtf! might as well go and rob the bank! teo heng is the best!)..and erm..some ah beng waiters asked meru for her number..hahahahah..meru u are an ah lian who attracts ah bengs!

rp and her confused identity dog fifi ..not our friend ah...

so now adays, even oldies have the unclean version huh?...MOAN LISA...?!??!?!?!

a letter to my parents...

To: My Parents.
Re: Valentine's Day.



Dear Mom n Dad,


Happy Valentine's Day! I'm sure you guys are aware that it is Valentine's Day today, even though you both do not celebrate it, because it's all over the media. However, i am even more sure that you guys realised that this makes yet another year that your dear daughter does not have a date...and this happens to be the whole point of this letter. Ok, no. I take that back. It is not exactly about not having a date...but more about that big peony painting you have on your living room wall. (if you are not sure which one i was referring to...i've attached a picture of it for your reference...)

I think it is time you guys found new friends or asked for a refund for the painting! You all need new friends, because your friends who told you that if you hung a peony painting in your house, your daughters will have "tao hua yun", probably lied to you.OR...the huge ass porcelain peony painting that you shipped all the way from Hong Kong, which cost you a whooping $1k is probably fake. I know! Maybe the flowers in the painting are actually chrysanthemums! Now i'm even more convinced that you both NEED to get a refund immediately! Hmmph! Oh alright...i was just joking.................NOT! (Borat Style..Ha!)In any case Happy Valentines Day once again.

Love.. Hugs and Kisses,
Your Laughly Daughter!

P.S. On the way down to take a photo of that painting...i noticed your pot of newly acquired artificial flowers, that are precariously positioned at the corner of the staircase, under tt huge "Your Dad is watching you!" painting...and they look suspiciously like peonies too...ok we get the hint.

damn blardee good one man....

once again, i am sitting here WAITING for people to send me stuff so that i can do my work..and while i am WAITING...jack's mannequin is blasting in my ear, but i'm not exactly listening to it because i'm busy multi-tasking - switching between emailing and "msn-ing" to try and chase ppl for the stuff that they owe me or waiting for their replies on issues that cannot be resolved for weeks, and issues that my sup is breathing down my neck about..irritating. but that's not the point of this post.

as i am busy chasing people...i suddenly stop all that i am doing because my nose starts clogging up again, and suddenly i cannot breathe.....and that's when i realise the lyrics of the song that's playing in my ears..."you can breathe, you can breathe now, you can breathe but the air is running out......."

-_-" how apt.

after having complained for 6 mths about how i detest work, i am still stuck at the same place...unfortunately. and the only thing i can blame is my own laziness. i have slipped into the comfort zone (yet again) of my work, and although i still face the same irritating ppl and same shit everyday, i am starting to get used to it. like how most of the time my parent's nagging seem like music to my ears (after having gone through a "good" 22 years of it), and how i've grown accustomed to someone's temper and our cyclical fights.

so...instead of making my life even more miserable...i have taken on the office culture of...cluttering my desk. just yesterday...C and i scooted off to ikea for yet another shopping trip...and here's what my desk's like now...

the corner of the desk that i sit at...see my very high tech phone?it's so high tech i dunno how to use it..and hobz spoilt it the other day when she left me a voice mail..now it can't be used!

the left side of my desk that needs to be cluttered further..it's too empty. other ppl have stuff like mini fish tank, speakers, document tray, big winnie the pooh table mat, freaking a lot of photframes..mine clutter's nothing compared to theirs!

the right side of my desk @ snack corner

yahoo widgets

this will defnitely be nothing new to mac users, but guess what windows users? we now have widgets too!! they are way cool! though it causes the comp to hang once in a while, it's still makes the desktop super happening!

so...pls go and download the yahoo widgets...and find you can visit find for more widgets here and here

ipod radio remote

the iphone is just way cool. trust apple to come up with something like this. yet another one of those superb apple products that people will die for. but i've come to the conclusion that i will never own one because 1. i just do not possess the money for it. 2. i am damn anal about having finger prints all over my phone or what ever glossy surface of items that i possess ...so i will probably spend more time cleaning the prints off the phone rather than using the phone. hah.

my latest possession. now i can listen to the radio when i am sick of listening to the only 2 albums tt i love in my new ipod. though the reception's not absolutely perfect, but it's just damn cool. steve jobs and his teams' just way brilliant. oh...and now i don't have to constantly dig my ipod out of my bag to replay "dark blue" by jack's mannequin :) thank you

these shoes aren't made for walking

i don't know how it works, but my shoes always manage to give me freaking aching/blistered feet even though the only walking i do everyday is from the car- to the mrt - to the office - to my desk - to the cafe - back to my desk - to the toilet - back to my desk - to the toilet - to the foodcourt - to my desk - to the toilet - back to my desk - to the toilet - back to my desk - to the toilet - to the mrt - to the car.

OR

my feet manage to kill my shoes. let's see...ever since i started work..i've worn out 5 pairs of shoes. wth. and so anyway...just now i had to go to the shoe shop to get myself YET ANOTHER pair of plain black pointy heels. because i am boring.

and i have to say that it is really nice to know that...giantess like me who have big feet can finally find cheap shoes that actually fit my godzilla feet. the shoe shops finally recognise our existence. FINALLY...THERE'S HOPE FOR MY FEET!

no one told me it would be.... and was going to be so difficult....

one trip to the doc + one box of mc nuggets + 1 fedac = 1 sedated bear(me)

hello sunshine....

....come into my life.........

one of the biggest sun haters i am. i rejoice in having rainy gloomy days, but complain when there are too many of such days. there are just some things in our life that we take for granted, or do not cherish until they are gone...like mr. sun himself. honestly, the sun has been out much longer for the past two days, than it has been for the past one month, and i didn't realise it until i read about it on someone's blog today. it takes a person's blog to make me realise a simple thing like that...now it just makes me wonder exactly which world am i living in?

shit i really have to stop being so stonny and get my act together. but how to when i'm vegging at home today?sigh... time to head to the doc to get my leaky nose fixed...

argh! my nose!

my nose is killing me...two days ago...it was like this tap...it leaked occasionally and a little bit at a time...so i decided to take things into my own hands, and i took the trusty panadol cold. the trusty panadol cold was not that trusty afterall, because i ended up enduring a freaking bad headache in the office...and had to tahan the whole day coz there was so much work to do....
thinking that the lack of sleep must be the reason behind my leaky nose...i decided to take the sat off partying and stayed home the entire day to sleep.but omg.....instead of becoming better...my ears and nose all got blocked, and i felt like i had a ton of mucus stuck in my head, and my eyes felt like they were swollen. gross. and damn it...instead of getting better after a damn long sleep...my leaky nose turned into the freaking niagara falls! i've been going ard the house with a tissue stuffed up my nostril the entire day...

sigh...it's amazing how much mucus one can have. i totally feel like the tap below...and instead of sleeping i have work to do...sian...it's damn sad how there's not a single day in the week that i look forward to :( working ppl always look forward to the weekends...but i.......look forward to...the end of my job...hahahhaha...bah

oh...pls let me talk abt the very interesting things my father has to say abt my leaky nose

"your nose can't stop leaking because you don't have enough sleep!" (ok, this one might be true)

"your nose can't stop leaking because there must be some flu bug in your body, you better see the doc and get it fixed before ur nose becomes permanently damaged" (ok this one i agree too)

"you see...you don't want to get up early to go and choose a new bed...ur old bed must be the cause of your nose...all the mites etc." (huh! thought mites only cause like rashes etc.? but omg...yucks my bed has mites?!)

then when i sleep the entire day because i heed his advice abt not getting enough rest...he says...

"can you pls aim to wake up before 10am on sunday?" (no...because if i wake up any earlier how do i get enough rest?"

"you do nothing but sleep...waste the whole day away!" (what else can one do to get more sleep other than sleep?)

"why are you sleeping again?!" (errm....because i don't have enough sleep??)

........................my dad is super omg.

picture time

Lazy to talk about the trip...so as usual..the pictures will do the talking....

Genting_KL_Dec'06

clockwise from top left: the leader. driver of our car. aaron and dawn popping out of the window for a smoke at the toll. first world hotel. on the way up to genting.

the passenger's in cootie's (check out his face..hilarious!) car. me room mates. van, colin, kelvin, aaron, cootie and esmond.

sleepy heads....we are the champs...7 ppl in one room..5 on the bed, 2 on the floor!

KL Zouk.
Evidence that we conquered KL Zouk....
....and more evidence that we conquered KL Zouk!

supper at the roadside stall.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Christmas Eve_2006

Thanks fifi for the wonderful dinner! I ate till i almost puked..the cheese hotdogs were the best! And a HUGE THANKS to all of you for the surprise bday cake! as denyse will say...wuv wuv to all of you!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hang out @ Katong

Bowling and KTV at the cheapest and best place in the east. Thanks to fifi again for staying till midnight and for being the first to wish me... and to peach, lg and fifi for the song u sang in the lift ..the uncle in the lift with us looked freaking traumatised..i shld have video-ed him too..haha..

anyway..britney...u sure u know the lyrics to ur own song? i'm starting to doubt ur identity!

peach had the highest bowling score of the night..105.. we must bowl more, look at the pros...at round 5 they already had a score of 123 and we only have like what 24?!

and lg..u look like u are eating the mike in the pic........

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dinner @ Hilton

Jap buffet at Hilton hotel. Not that wonderfu leh...anyhow..thank you my lovely "drive me up the wall at times" family!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One of those winebar days...........when yoyo suddenly popped out of nowhere! it was nice seeing u yoyo (who looked a bit like the One on his shirt that night)...but where the hell's my krispy kreme?! forever talking about it but until now i've never seen it! Until u buy it for me, don't talk to me abt it again! hmmph!

ok...my new year's resolution is to not get pissed so often right....but i have to break it right now.....

WHO HAS BEEN GIVING OUT MY HP NUMBER AS RECOMMENDATIONS?!?!

first it was some finance company. then some facial thing, then insurance people and now true yoga! 2 of them i found out....if i find out the other two...you all are dead! or at least tell me that you gave my number, so that when these people call me i can not pick up my phone! stop giving my number to all these companies, i hate to waste time being persuaded....and persuading ppl to stop persuading me. so pls stop giving out my number!

first working day of the new year. nothing changes even though it's a new year. here i am, sitting and waiting for people to send me things once again. just waiting and waiting everyday..don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining this time round because it only means i have time to blog.

so, in the blink of an eye, 2006 zoomed past without me realising it and 2007 is here. so many things happened in the 2006..a freaking bad year for me, and i'm glad it's over. hopefully 2007 will be a better one? HOPEFULLY.

new year's resolution...never believed in it, but doesn't hurt to come up with one does it? 3 things for the new year, to stop getting pissed/upset, stop saying "fuck" so many times in a day. and stop saying "cb" before it starts to become part of my vocab like how "fuck" has already become part of it. simple plan.

best resolution i've heard so far, comes from my colleague...."my new year's resolution is to have a resolution the following year." that, totally takes the cake.

everybody got a well deserved break last weekend. while people were partying here or catching up on their forty winks, i did the unimaginable...i "ran" off to KL at 2am, without telling anybody, and i came home yesterday to a bunch of angry friends who kept saying "tsk tsk" to me, an exasperated father and 2 sisters who said i'm horrid.

but u know what? i don't care that everybody's unhappy with me, because i'm happy i did what i did. i don't care that they don't understand why i did it, or that my parents think that i am increasingly rebellious these days..because at least now i am less unhappy and i preserved my sanity.

last night my dad said to me..."so did you enjoy urself in KL?" and i said..."yes..very much." and he replied "u ran away from home in the middle of the night.".....................hahaha...evidently, he's still freaking pissed with me, but let's put it this way..there's never a day that he's not pissed with me.....oh well......

anyhow...
"hello" to all the new friends i made and got to know better on the trip, the 3 days spent together was absolutely fun.
to the girls..glad u all had fun at zouk, but zouk KL is much more fun! haha ok..shan't piss u all off further.
to you...thank you for things that don't have to mentioned.
to my parents...you all cannot stay pissed with me for long because u all love me and i'm just too cute (afterall, my cuteness it the reason why chubsy exists!) to be pissed with...HAH!
to my sisters...u two fatsos better pay me back for the stuff i got u...and the next time u complain when i go on a trip i won't buy anymore things for u...because i always end up having to save on stuff tt i want to buy so tt i can get the things for u...BAH!

Happy New Year Everybody!

early wishes

Merry Christmas to one and all..and HAPPY FUCKED UP BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!
fucking shit load of work for the next 3 days....so while everyone is happy partying away, making toasts to each other and eating their bloody roast turkeys that i hope is poisoned...i take on their fucking shit to finish. thank you to one and all. screw you world.